This morning, a friend said to me; "I think you're over him already, but accepting that is what terrifies you".
And maybe she was right.
It's the worst waking up in the morning seeing him with another girl. It's especially worse knowing the type of love you were willing to give him was crushed for another girl in a matter of seconds.
It may be extremely difficult to move on from the boy that was your first love- the boy that held you close at night, the boy who brought you flowers just because, the boy whose deep blue eyes seemed like a never ending ocean. It's even more difficult to accept the fact that he's already moved on. But when you see that he is living his own life, thats when you should too.
A breakup is inevitable. A human beings heart is fragile. It will shatter, bend, and break very easily. It may not be fully repaired, but that is what makes us human.
There are so many boys out there that will break your heart; and while I'm not saying avoid them, I am saying that it might be a good idea to protect your heart.
The moment that you find a person that makes you want to remove the shield off your heart, is also the moment you want your shield to be stronger. It's absurd. It's ineffable. Yet, It's true. After being so shattered, opening your heart back up for the world is the hardest thing to do.
The best part about that though: there is finally someone else besides him. He may not be the boy of your dreams, he may not be your ex; but whether you want to admit it or not, you're moving on from the boy that treated you so wrong. And that is definitely for the best.
While you sit there and tell yourself the boy from high school that broke your heart was the boy of your dreams, your heart knows that all he was is toxic. He was a liar. He was a cheater. And worst of all? he decided that your heart was a toy. A man that can look into a woman's eyes and decide that her heart is not pure gold is a man that does not deserve unconditional love.
Your heart is moving on without you, sweetie. It knows what you deserve. He is not what you deserve. Go out, have fun, meet new boys, be wild and free. You only get this life once. Do you really want to waste it on a boy that broke you? Follow your heart. Your brain will only confuse you. Live the magical life you deserve as a woman that never got her heart broken by an unworthy boy.
And when your friend says "I think you're over him already, but accepting it is what terrifies you", listen to her, because I am here to promise you that she is right.
