Here's to the devoted girls. Here's to the girls who wore their hearts on sleeves without fear of being let down, disappointed, and left in the dust. Here is to the girls who rose above their disappointments and are standing in the presence of others today. Here's to us. Yesterday, you were strong with him. Today, you are strong without him. And tomorrow will be hard, but I promise you, you will be even stronger. You spent a year, two years, maybe even more than five years devoted to another human being. Those years are not meaningless but the years to come hold more than you could ever imagine. So take a moment, close your eyes, and breathe. Breathe because you can, because your body is designed so intricately to enable processes such as breathing to occur. Breathe even if you feel like your heart is in your stomach and your lungs are in your throat. I promise you that it is okay. If not right now, it will be. Look to the future.
Look at yourself in this moment. You have to much to do. There are hobbies to be found and chances to be taken. The time that you spent on someone else gets to be spent on yourself again. Pick up that book that you always wanted to read, start that painting that you always envisioned but never created, blast that song in the car that you have always loved but he didn't like. Beautiful, do it for yourself because you can. Find a new hobby, something that is just your own. You're able to define yourself again. It's no longer "you & ____," it's just you. Now, decide for yourself how you want to be seen. Artsy? Confident? Funny? Kind? All of the above? Now, strive for it.
Take the time to reinvent. Look at everyone with kindness because you can do that without him. Don't let the thoughts suck you down because there are so many opportunities moving forward. You have the choice to wake up tomorrow and smile at everyone, treat everyone with kindness, joke with the cashier, hug your family super tight or you can wake up and dwell. There will be plenty of opportunities in life to dwell my friend, so seize the moment. And at night, when you miss him most, think about the tomorrow and how you are going to make someone so happy. Dream of this random person's smile and how they will go home and tell their family about the stranger who shared a laugh with them.
Pamper yourself not for him or for any other men. Take a too-long, used-up-all-the-hot-water shower. Use that expensive face mask that you've been saving. Put on your makeup, including that eyeliner (winged, of course!). Go out, or stay in, whatever you feel like. Check yourself out in the mirror a few times. Looking good, feeling better. You're more likely to feel better when you are confident in your appearance. Dress to impress--yourself. Wear what makes you happy, no one else. Why? Because you have freedom now, you are independent now.
And my friend, at night when the thoughts do start, it is okay to need someone. Call a friend, invite your dog to sleep with you, curl up and watch a movie with your mom. Take this time to find yourself again. Don't feel bad for crying on someone's shoulder because that's okay too. Everything is normal. Nothing is falling apart, only falling together. You just can't see the whole picture in this moment to see that.
Remember that single is not synonymous with the word "alone" and that cause and effects always happen for a reason.