To the friends who left me high and dry this summer,
Who would have thought it would come to this? Last summer, before I left for college, left you to go to your college or to stay in high school, we made so many promises. I, of all people, didn't expect them to be empty promises. You were my best friends, my partners in crime. We would live up to all of the promises, right? I hate to think of how wrong I actually was.
I should have seen it coming. I should have known when we stopped talking while we were apart that things wouldn't be the same when we came back together. I should have known when I'd send you a text and not hear back from you for weeks on end. I should have known when you only contacted me when I was home if you needed something. I should have known, but I didn't want to believe that we were growing apart, that you were living your life without me.
But it happened. I sent texts, I tried (I know I wasn't perfect, but I did try, I swear), but nothing ever worked out. So I stopped trying. At school, one of the only reasons I looked forward to coming home was seeing you, but you were never there and I felt so alone. I knew I needed to give you space and not crowd your life because you're changing and growing and have things going on, but I guess I always assumed I'd be a part of that.
I won't lie, when I first realized that you'd moved on, it hurt like hell. I didn't understand what I did to make you not want to be my friends anymore. I still don't. But I don't think, at least I don't hope, it was personal. You grew adapted to a life without me in it while we were apart, and I get that. I'm happy about that. That doesn't mean I still don't wish I could be a part of it. I'm trying not to take it personally, but it's honestly hard not to because I still love you so much and I hate watching you from the sidelines, and try as I might, I really don't understand why you won't make an effort.
I'm not mad at you. I don't harbor any ill will, and I'm most certainly not blaming you. People grow apart, it happens. I just never thought it would happen to us. I understand that you're living your life, and I really hope it's amazing for you. I hope you're happy and free and beautiful because I don't want anything less for you, ever. But let's make one more promise, OK? We can't break this one: we need to promise each other that we won't make any more empty promises...because it makes reality hurt too much.
Love always,
The friend who wishes you well, all the same
