I remember the day, the exact moment actually, that I found out that you took yourself away from us. I was sitting in class when someone looked at told me one of the worst things I’ve ever heard: you had killed yourself and you were gone.

Tears stung my eyes and I swear I couldn’t breathe. I found myself feeling sick to my stomach and nothing else around me mattered. I couldn’t believe it, I just kept thinking this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening.

The memory takes me back to the summer before when we worked together and spent just about every day together. You saved me when I needed you, and I should have saved you...I should have known. You always made me laugh and you we’re always there when I needed the extra help. I can never thank you enough for everything that you did for me, and I could only wish that I could have done more for you.

It feels like yesterday.

It feels like yesterday we were sitting talking about how much we really didn’t want to work that day.

It feels like yesterday you were trying to show me up in waitress training and you dropped the cup of water and spilled it everywhere.

It feels like yesterday I walked through the church doors and saw your pictures, saw everything you had accomplished and everything you had going for you.

It feels like yesterday when I was sitting in the back of the church at your funeral because the front and the middle was just too close for me. I can still feel the crushing pressure in my chest. I remember looking around the room, seeing all the tear-filled eyes and realizing how many people really cared. The church was full. We didn’t notice, and we’re sorry, but we were all here and we wish nothing more than to be able to tell you that, face to face, eye to eye.

You had so much going for you and I wish you would have stuck around to get everything you deserved in life because we were all on your side.

I had just saw you a couple days before, and if I known that was the last time I would get to hug you, I would have held on a lot longer. I would give anything to see you smile and hear you laugh again. You had such a kind soul but sometimes life gets the best of us. I want you to know that I miss you, we all miss you. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. When I woke up on your birthday, I turned on Pandora and the first song that came on was See You Again, and I knew you had stopped in the say hi to me. I hear you, and I feel you, thank you for looking out for me.