Breakups hurt. It truly does not matter whether you're the leaving or the left, losing someone who had been a main character in your life hurts. I've experienced breakups just as everyone else has: the good, the bad, and the ugly, rip your heart out, calling your best friend at 3AM in tears. People fall in and out of love just as the leaves change. Sometimes you don't even know you're caught up in a relationship that just isn't working until the world is suddenly caving in on you. To the ex who completely turned my world upside down, I sincerely hope that you are growing tremendously from our experiences together, and apart.

Today I ran into your dad for the first time in four months. He greeted me with his cheery, bright smile and a look that made me feel like a family member who had just come back from the dead. As he gave me one of his trademark bear hugs, the wall behind my eyes crumbled and I was instantly in tears. I could barely get the words out when he asked me how I had been. When he said, "We miss you!" with his arm around my shoulder, I knew that his "we" did not include you.

Not five minutes later, your brother greeted me with his typical, charismatic "Hey," and I tried desperately to keep the wall from crashing down any further. After a quick exchange about how life has been going, I bolted for the door. Within the confines of my mother's car, I let the flood gates break open.

I grapple everyday with the pain of my exile from your family that I would not have to go through if you had not made it so. When you left, I picked up the shattered remains of the effort that I had put into making it work between us; with our busy schedules and differing plans for our lives as individuals. I recognize now that our breakup was something that would have occurred sooner or later and that it is better that we ended things when we did. I am excited for your future and to hear about the incredible things that you will do and the lives that you will change.

In regards to where we are right now, here is what I have to say. While you tell people now that I was not supportive of your career aspirations, I do hope that you remember my willingness to sacrifice my goals for my own life to follow you down the path that you chose. I pray that while you warn people of how I should be considered unfit to take up leadership roles, that you remember the years that we spent working side by side, building each other up unconditionally. When you make assumptions about the things that I am doing in my life, I know that you have seen me in my vulnerable moments. I know that you understand, better than most people, the inner workings of my heart and that I am only human, just as you are. As you age, I am eager to see you reach new heights and gain new perspectives.

While you may feel resentment towards me for putting my heart into the hands of another, I know that that hatred will fade when you look into the eyes of someone new, who will hold your heart and never let it go. I pray that she finds you safe and healthy, serving God with the same passion and fire that you had when I knew you. Beyond that, I am so excited for you to grow in His love more and more each day.

I miss your family immensely and await the day when I can see them without feeling the pain that I do today. Right now, it feels as though you changed my world for the worst. Perhaps one day, it will have turned out to be for the better.

With heartache and understanding,

Flower