I’m really not sure what made you think that making a comment about a girl’s weight was totally acceptable. Do you not have a mother, sister, aunt or cousin? Were you taught to be respectful? Words hurt, no matter if there is any truth to them.
Maybe you think you’re funny. You aren’t aware of how hard your comment can hit someone; you probably thought you were just making harmless a joke. You don’t know how much or how long that person has struggled with their self-esteem. You have no clue how many nights she has spent crying her eyes out because she thought she was fat. You don’t know anything about what it took for her to leave the house that morning with a fake smile on her face. You were simply “making a joke.”
The sad thing is you have probably never given a second thought to any comment you’ve ever made about a girl’s weight. You don’t know how many of them are struggling with their weight, self-esteem and confidence. Statistically, there are probably quite a few who struggle with an eating disorder. According to the National Eating Disorder Association, 20 million women suffer from an eating disorder in the United States. Girls begin to worry about their weight starting at the age of 6. At 6, a young girl should be worrying about her Barbie dolls, not her weight.
This is for every boy who has ever said that a girl should keep on more clothes because “no one wants to see that.” This is for every girl who has heard that a boy would like her more if she lost some weight. This is for every girl who has ever had any comment made in regards to her weight.
You are beautiful, and he is a jerk. Don’t you dare waste your tears. I promise you, his opinion is nothing worth worrying over, whether he is a close friend or a total stranger. I should know. I’ve heard it too and after a few days, I realized that one opinion should not define me or how I feel about myself.
Boys, apologies are always very much appreciated, and even just acknowledging that you were not right to call a girl fat is great. But here’s the thing: you said it already. Your words had a tremendous impact on a girl. Please, don’t do it again.
Do not worry about her weight or whether she should be wearing the clothing she chose to wear. Her clothing choice is exactly that, it is her clothing choice. The amount of clothes she chooses to wear does not affect you. If she feels good, that is all that matters. Girls are going to wear bathing suits, shorts and crop tops this summer regardless of your opinion. They will wear whatever they want to wear because it makes them feel good.
If you don’t like it, then don’t look. It is as simple as that. Not everyone is created equally. Everyone looks different and everyone has their own comfort zones, and clearly your comfort zone does not include girls who want to wear whatever they want regardless of their weight.
To diminish a girl to just her weight is uncalled for. Girls are more than their weight. We are intelligent, adventurous, opinionated and multifaceted individuals. The bottom line is this: don’t call anyone fat, regardless of their age, gender, size, race or religion. Maybe if you learned to think before you speak, you wouldn’t have a letter dedicated to you. To be honest, you don’t deserve this letter. But then again, no one deserved your comments either.
