To the boy with the eating disorder,

I see you throw away the lunch your mom packed for you this morning. You tell her you liked it, but the truth is you wish you had the strength to even taste it.

To the boy with the eating disorder,

I see you take an extra second glancing through your peripherals as you walk past a mirror. Your shadow on the ground as you walk, a silhouette you desperately want to alter.

To the boy with the eating disorder,

I see you writhe with anxiety at every outing to the beach. You're torn between doing what everyone else does for fun, or keeping yourself safe from the countless measuring eyes. It's too hot to keep your shirt on, but it's the only protection you have here.

To the boy with the eating disorder,

I see you break down in front of your closet door every morning. Part of you wants to just wear whatever feels comfortable. Part of you believes with enough time you'll find something good enough to wear to go out in public. And the rest of you just wants to crawl into bed and never come out.

To the boy with the eating disorder,

I see you cringe as you obssess over documentaries, talk show segments, and news reports about eating disorders. "More women than ever before are falling victim to this illness" they say. You see treatment centers full of young girls desperate to get control of their lives again. "A female sickness." "A product solely of society and sexism." You've never felt so alone. Your struggle, so invalid.

But to the boy with the eating disorder,

Know that you are not alone. I see you. I love you.

Your struggle seemingly goes unnoticed. One of the instances where gender roles and society force men into a silent anguish. Because having an eating disorder means being feminine, and we are told femininity equates to weakness.

Women are brainwashed into being told they are weak, denied the chance of ever reaching masculine privilege. For you, it becomes a choice between keeping this privilege or staying alive. And most of the time, life takes a backseat in priority.

Women are shamed for being women; you feel shame for wondering if you are one. This illness is so deep a part of you, and yet you are told only women face it. How can you reconcile these two "facts"? Your eating disorder makes you question more than just your body; your very gender identity becomes unstable. Suddenly, everything feels out of your control.

Which only exacerbates your eating disorder. You starve yourself even more. You take 12 laxatives instead of your usual 8-a-day routine. You spend more time asleep than you do awake.

But no matter how low the scale goes, you are never satisfied.

I am here to tell you that your struggle is real. It is valid. It is important. It is worthy of attention, of intervention, of treatment. But more importantly, so are you. You are worthy of attention, and of life. For your struggle is not just yours to bear. It is my struggle, too.

You are not alone in this. Society is changing, slowly as it may seem. Your voice will be heard.

Because you matter.