If I could go back to high school and change one thing, it would be us.

It was obvious for years that you looked at me as more than just a friend and if I regret one thing it’s not realizing it soon enough. Not only were you my neighbor and my best friend, but you were also the first boy I ever truly loved.

Growing up together I had this image that we would be the classic best friends you only see in the movies who fall in love by the end of senior year and live happily ever after. But until then, you were just my nerdy friend and the idea of us dating made me throw up a little in my mouth.

It didn’t hit me until the end of junior year when you started to ignore me that I began to realize you were more than just a friend to me. We stopped hanging out and the Dawson likes Joey scenario turned into Joey liking Dawson.

Before I knew it, you had become someone I never thought you would. You turned mean. Selfish. And someone I could no longer call my best friend. But everyday I hoped we would be close again.

Here I am, sitting in my dorm room at a college hundreds of miles from you and I still find myself wondering what changed? And Why.

No matter how far apart we have grown, the truth is, I will never stop caring for you and there will always be a place in my heart full of the memories we have together.

I’m not sure when it is I will see you again, or ever really talk to you and sometimes I wish I could say all of this to your face but I know in today’s dating generation that just doesn’t work the way it should. I guess I’m just waiting for the serendipitous day when we casually bump into each other in a crowded bar and everything picks up where they left off and we finally get our story right. The way it should have happened.

Until that day I wish you the best.