I wasted time on you that I should have given to someone else. But here I am, still liking you, even though you let me down time and time again. I always approached you, I always asked you to do these things with me, and every time, it made me so happy. Until bailing on me was the normal for you. I accepted the fact that nothing romantic would ever come out of our friendship, but I always found myself still hoping that it would turn into that. You knew that too, you knew how I felt, but you thought it went away because I started talking to other guys, either that or you just didn't care. But here's the thing, I did. I did move on, but it never worked. I always found myself comparing them to you. How you would have laughed at that joke, how you would have smiled at my stupid pick-up lines, and how you would just shake your head at my constant superhero references. Then, every time I left and came back into your life, and you would act like nothing happened. At first, I thought it was great that you acted that way, but after awhile, I got annoyed. I wanted you to confront me about how I kept leaving and coming back, why I kept dropping all these other guys I had crushes on and coming back to you. And then I realized, you didn't care if I left and then came back. And that's not what I want. I wanted you to fight for me. And you didn't.

Then, it was your turn to leave. And you did. Then you came back, and it made me so so happy. But now, everything is going back to how it used to be. And quite honestly, I have decided not to fix it anymore. I give up on whatever we had. I don't know if it was even a friendship. I gave so much time, and so much of my heart just for you. And a little part of me loved you I think, or loved whatever I thought we had. And I'm always going to love you. Because you have shown me what I wanted in a man, but at the same time, you showed me everything that I did not want in one. I remember everything you ever said to me, and how some of the things you said hurt me in ways that I can't explain. My eyes don't light up when I hear your name, I don't get butterflies when you text me, every time your name comes up on my screen. I sigh in disappointment because I know it's just another useless response from you.

So congratulations. You won my heart, and for the longest time, anything you did was amazing to me. But now, I have given up on whatever it was that we had.