I remember the first time that I ever seen you. It was the beginning of my Sophomore year, second year at a brand new school, and my first year doing cheer leading. I had never once heard your name, let alone talked to you. At our very first football game, we were getting on the bus getting ready to leave, and that's when I seen you. I looked at you and you looked right at me. Those blue eyes pulled me in and were like laying on your back looking up to the bright blue sky. I kept looking for you during the entire game to see if maybe, just maybe, you were looking for me too. After the game had ended, we loaded on the bus and I couldn't help but think about those blue eyes all the way home. When I finally got home it was super late, but I wanted to find you on Facebook. I looked you up and just like that, I found you. I debated on sending you a request thinking, "Maybe it's too early for this?" and "What if he thinks I'm weird?" All those thoughts were going through my head and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. My (future) step sister told me to just do it and get it over with and I did it. It wasn't too long after that I sent it, you accepted it. From there on, things just got better.

It was about a week or two later we started dating, even though we had never met. To my parents it seemed kind of odd, but to me I felt like I had known you for years. We had talked about meeting up before school started to hangout and see each other so it wouldn't be weird during school, and I remember we made plans to meet at my little brothers football practice right by the school. You had football practice too and lived right behind the elementary school, where my brothers practice was held. You told me to wait for you at the playground and to be aware that you were sweaty, and I was. I was sitting on a swing, talking to my sister and she told me to turn around. I turned around and there you were. In this peach colored shirt that you always called your favorite, all sweaty, but somehow I knew right then and there, you stole my heart.

From there on out, things were great. Our relationship, like many others, had it's troubles and we both made mistakes but we always managed to get through them. We did so much together, from going out to eat to watching and cheering you on at wrestling. So many adventures that we endured together, just to have everything end so quickly. We were together for a year and a half, but in the last couple weeks of our relationship I started to feel things get tense. You started to distance yourself. You talked to me less and less and I wasn't really sure what to do, because at that time I couldn't imagine my life without you. I remember talking to you on the phone and telling my Mom to talk to you because you wouldn't tell me what was wrong. I gave my Mom the phone and went into her room to grab the other one to listen to the conversation, but little did I know I was just about to have my heart broken over a few words. All I heard when I clicked the line on was, "I'm thinking about leaving her." From that point on, I lost it.

It was like my whole world came tumbling down, and I was getting hit by those few words that I heard you say. They kept repeating in my head, over and over again. I couldn't bring myself to eat, drink or even sleep. I couldn't even go one minute without crying because my heart just hurt too bad. I kept trying to talk to you, and to see you but you just kept pushing me away. You told me that you just needed time and that I should just leave you alone to think, but I couldn't help but think that I drove you away and that I wasn't good enough for you anymore. About 2 weeks later you said that you really didn't want to be together anymore, and that you think we should go our separate ways. So many things ran through my head, and all I could do was blame myself, which yes I did have some faults. Everything was going so good and then all of a sudden it all fell apart, and almost 2 years later I still don't know why.

I was so broken, mentally, physically, and emotionally, that I told myself I never wanted to love someone as much as I loved you ever again. You moved on not too long after, and you made it look so easy. But after all this time I'm finally fixing myself. I have began to love myself and it feels so good. It feels so good to invest my time into myself and who I want to become as a person, instead of into someone that can leave at any second. I'm thankful that you left, because I was so blinded by the "love" that I thought we shared that I couldn't do it myself. So thank you, for doing what I couldn't.

I still love you, perhaps I always will. Because you were my first love, and you always will be.