I finally understand the saying, "You don't know what you got until it's gone." I lost you, and I don't think I can get you back.

I miss what we used to be.

When I first met you, I resented you. Considering how I met you, it would be the reason why.

But for some reason, you kept texting me, and you wouldn't leave me alone.

So I gave in.

I got to see who you truly were. I saw the sweet, compassionate guy you were, the silly and the most sensitive person.

Being on the phone from morning to night really affected me when you went to boot camp. I wouldn't wish that type of pain on my worst enemy. I used to have you on the phone with me when I would fall asleep. I couldn't sleep for days not knowing if you were okay.

Then, May 7th came, and my first letter from you arrived in the mail. Even though it was a couple sentences, it still gave me this jolt of happiness knowing I could finally talk to you, even if it would take 2 weeks to hear from you.

Twelve weeks, three months, and eighty-four days of sadness, of feeling alone, and not having anyone to turn to. Then, July 22nd came around, and you were a completely different person. You had a completely different person by your side as well.

Finding out about her...

She's been there since the day you left. That made me feel like a joke. I was home every day wishing you were here, wishing I could hear your voice for not even a minute. You had another girl all along.

The new you was something I couldn't believe. I wouldn't leave you alone. I couldn't leave you alone. But yet you were so cold, you didn't care.

Just two weeks ago in your letters, you were saying that when you got out, we were going to get married. I held you to that; hell, I still hold you to that.

I forgave you for everything you did wrong. I still took you back when you came back for me. I forgave you because I loved you. I forgave you because I didn't care if I was unhappy, as long as I knew I had you by my side.

So here I am, two years later forgiving you time after time, because there is something I can't let go of.

Eight months ago, I started to push you away. I started dating someone new, but so did you. We both knew we only did it to hurt each other. We didn't want to be with the people we were with because we knew we wanted each other.

I mean come on, we still talked almost every single day, even when we were with other people.

When both of our relationships failed, it sort of pushed us back together, but I still tried to push you away. I blamed it on not wanting a title, and that I couldn't trust you based on our past. You never gave up on me.

Until now.

You finally reached your breaking point. You finally gave up on the idea of us, and I don't know why it hurts so damn much.

I hope she makes you happy.

But just tell me one thing, can you see yourself being with her forever? Can she replace me? Well, did she replace me?

This can't be real. We can't be over.

I'm giving up on the hopes of us slowly, but something is telling me to fight for you. Something just won't let me let you go.