Thankfully, we have the power to choose who we consider our “friends.” We are in control of who we tell our deepest and darkest secrets to. We learn through life that some people ask what’s wrong because they are curious, not because they actually care. I later realized that I was surrounded by negativity and that I couldn’t do it anymore.
Attending college that’s away from home is already scary enough, but realizing we have a fresh start when it comes to friends is a relief, but also stressful. So we have a tendency to hold onto those old high school friendships because no one ever wants to feel as if they have nobody. No one wants to walk through campus and get lost by themselves. No one wants to have to go eat lunch by themselves. No one wants to try something new alone.
As we get older, we realize that people come and they go. And for some of us, we find it hard to make life long new best friends. So we hold onto the old ones. I felt the need to hold on to toxic best friends because anyone would rather have someone than not have anyone, right?
Wrong. I continued to hold onto the people who put me down. I held onto people that made me feel like I was alone regardless of the fact that I really wasn’t. I felt alone because of YOU. You were the reason. I took your negativity, your belittling, your power to make me feel alone and I cherished it. I should have let you go a long time ago, but I didn’t. I continued to let you play with my feelings. You took me for granted. You belittled me. I never bragged about my accomplishments but I knew if you were to succeed at something, you would definitely let me know.
I woke up one day and realized, you were ruining my life. You didn’t even know it and neither did I until now. I was very skeptical about unfriending you, but I shortly realized after a couple weeks without you, I was getting better. You took away my happiness. You turned me into you, and I didn’t like that.
I’m sorry that I left you without an explanation. I truly am. This has hurt me just as much as it has hurt you. But I couldn’t take it any longer. Everyone in this world does anything they can to be happy, and you’re just someone that had to go. We outgrew each other, we were at completely different parts of our lives. I was trying to better myself but I couldn’t because of you.
So, I hope that you find in your heart to forgive me. Take this as an opportunity to better yourself. I look forward to seeing you succeed in your new life without me. I will always love you.
