The dawn breaks, and a steady ray of sunlight peeks through the slats in the window shades. Facing the mirror, our eyes reflect the stories of who we have been: ready for judgment, ready for change. Within this new light, we start to mold ourselves in preparation for what’s to come, following the leads of our studies, “trying our best,” and carrying the promise of an even brighter tomorrow. Our future depends so heavily on the actions we take today, and we often fear that one slip or missed opportunity will cost us the chance of possible success.
Honestly, how am I supposed to feel ready for a future career if I’m not even sure that this is what my mind wants, what my heart wants?
Idolizing those who proudly wear their happiness, I want to end up untarnished by the strife that got me into my adult life. Miles from home and dependent on myself, I stare the days down with utmost dedication to my educational interests. I stack comparisons of others before myself, unsettled by the strides I’ve made thus far. The amount of stress that begins to teeter its way into my life, just at the time where I feel most uncertain, makes me wonder if I’m going about this whole “schooling” thing right.
Somewhere between the sleepless nights and worrisome self-reflecting, I wonder if there is more to this than… this.
Though I carry an empowering perception of how my education determines my future, I’m happiest away from the school grind. Enrolled in the college lifestyle, yet transitioning into the adult setting, I often play the messy role of a passionate dreamer and educationally proficient student. The experiences of our yesterdays are the characteristics that prompt us for today. As each day passes, I worry that I won’t amount to much if I don’t keep this academic focus strong. However, in doing so, I slowly lose touch of the child that once ran free, unafraid of the future.
I enjoy my weekends out, socializing with randoms at clubs, marathoning cheaply-produced vampire shows, and poetically writing down my tangled thoughts instead of working. Though these feelings of complete freedom only sing alongside my passions for adventure, the desirable notion to let loose of all cares and stress is undeniably increasing.
Sometimes I want to stop everything: chase a bus across the state, make a living singing in bars, and travel until my bank account reaches zero. I want that freedom of time.
Caught in the midst of grasping my wandering soul, I forget what makes me, me. We have all been alone, waterfalling tears from our cheeks in response to, "What if I messed up?" Caught in this age of self-questioning, the butterfly effect of either taking risks or playing it safe seems evermore persistent. I’m done tight-roping the fine line between being academically professional and hiding away what really radiates from my heart.
Take me away from the institution, and I’ll dance wildly without the cues of music, free to discover my talents, and encouraged to seek out my loves. No one is to take away my interests, and alone I may stand in this pool of possibilities, and I’m okay with that. For the first time in my life, I am one against the world. One with the world. Twenty-one and feeling relentless to prove tomorrow wrong, I am destined to take both my dreams and my career, creating something beautiful from the confusion.
That’s just it. The key to success and happiness within an environment so determining of our future is to never forget what makes us, us.
Today gives us reasons to be ourselves, to laugh at our own stupidities and to never feel ashamed of our mistakes. We’re young for a reason. We have the rest of our lives to work away and collect our debt. For every moment that we sit alone, afraid of seeking out the thrills of a possible today, remember that we’re only here, in this very moment, once. So, yes, be proactive in your studies, wake up ready to make connections, get your butt to every boring three-hour lecture; but also, take time to recollect on why you are here, today.
"Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire."
-Quoted from Kappa Delta HQ (via Instagram)
We all want to live up to our potential. It’s our right to discover what makes us so special. In the light of a new day, I am forever grateful. I am the continuum of happiness. I carry with me the power to make an average day extraordinary. One day, people will stumble over my feats as a leader, role model, and universal friend. I want to be known throughout the world as someone who made a difference, someone who cared enough to share their passions with others. Today, though I may be middle-manning where I stand, I’m ready to surface what I’ve been meaning to achieve. Tomorrow, I won’t think twice; whatever I do, I do because it’s a part of me, not because I’ve been told correct. Go with your gut, go with your heart. The rest will follow.
Note From The Author:
This entry was written during a time I fled the chaos and pressures from my world and lived abroad in Switzerland for four months. I tucked myself away at a Starbucks in Geneva, beyond infatuated with this new lifestyle I had never allowed myself to live. I felt free. Cover photo was taken at the Creux du Van, in Noiraigue, Switzerland.
