This is it. You're in college. You're an adult now, this is what you been waiting for except it's not.
Freshman year I came into school with the wrong major. I didn't know it at the time but later I learned that me and biology we're NOT two pees in a pod. It was poison to my GPA. After stubbornly sticking it our till springbreak I gave in to my D's and admitted, this isn't for me.
In my branch of the family, I'm first generation. In the rest of my family there are nurses, docters, lawers, judges, marines, army men, firefighters, EMS, and designers. Once you make a decision that's it. I made a desition to become a doctor (MD not PhD). When I found out this choice I made when I was 7years old wasn't going to come true my world fell out from under me.
What was I to do? The anxiety started. I failed two classes already freshman year (D's aren't passing to me). What's my next step? My goal was to do two things in the next year. The first of the two was to find my major. The major I was suppose to be in because I'm good at it, and I like it. The second was to bring up my GPA.
Because of my choices freshman year I was on academic probation all freshmen year. The first day of fall sophomore year, I was off academic probation. It was a step in the right direction.
In the fall I took a class in every department I was interested in and I found my major. Speech communications, I'm good at it, and I love it. I currently have a job that falls right into my major and it's amazing.
Than the talk came. I had to explain the last year to my family. Now, most other first generation students will understand. I do all the school related things on my own, my family doesn't understand fasfa, school loans, class schedules, or midterms. So, trying to explain my switch between majors was hard. Even more so because they had never heard of speech communication. My family is visual, if they can see it, they can understand it. They didn't know anyone with this major, let alone a successful person with this major.
I was on my own again. In this adventure. I needed a new job to help pay for my wonderful education. I needed to continue summer classese every year to catch up on credits and to better my GPA. I did all of that. However, now I'm at a stand still. I'm exhausted, frustrated and don't know how to function.
I need to do my readings for class, but I need to work. I need to work so I can pay for school, but I need to pass to continue school. I need to pay for school so I can continue school but I need to work to pay for school. There is no give and take, there is only attempting to find the balance.
I continue to be to tierd to function, but somehow I'm still making it. I take it day by day and dollar by dollar and just hope that in the end it's worth it.
