To the skinny girl:

Sweet girl, I know. I know what it’s like for nobody to understand your pain, because how could someone who is thin have body image issues? I know how. I know what it’s like to grow up and every time you turn around somebody is pointing out how skinny you are, and hearing “you’re too skinny” becomes a daily thing. I know what it’s like to hope that as you grow older you’ll grow into yourself; that one day maybe you will look like a woman, but you don’t; you stay small and you stay “too skinny.”

I know what it’s like to see all your friends grow around you, and wonder why you’re not. I know what it’s like to be teased by these friends because you still don’t have developed breasts and you’re almost in high school. I know what it’s like to wish that your family members at holidays would stop telling you to eat more because you need meat on your bones. I know what it’s like to simply just not be able to eat more. I know what it’s like to go to a friend’s house, and their parents force you to eat two plates of their dinner because it looks like you haven’t eaten in ages.

Skinny girl, I know. I know what it’s like to be in high school and start to feel like you’re unwanted and unattractive because you don’t have curves. I know what it’s like to have girls at lunch get angry at you because you can eat whatever you want and not gain anything, and they can’t -- and for that reason, they hate you; they envy you, they despise you. I know what it’s like to literally be rejected for a simple hug because a person is afraid they’ll “break” you. How about they give you a break? I know what it’s like to go home and have your own father tell you that you look malnourished. And above all else, I know that you can’t help it.

I know what it’s like to have people ask you all the time, “Are you anorexic?” I know what it’s like to have people believe that you have an eating disorder without even knowing you, and no matter how much you tell others you don’t, some will just not believe it. I know what it’s like to go shopping with friends and they make fun of how small you are. They point to the baby or kid’s clothing section, and tell you to knock yourself out because that’s your size. I know what it’s like to have someone point to a stick figure drawing and tell you that the reference for that photo was you.

Sweet skinny girl, I know. I know what it’s like to sit in your own sadness because nobody understands what it’s like to constantly be called “stick,” “bean pole,” “rail,” “skeleton,” and be told that meat is for the men while the bones are for dogs. I know what it’s like that just because you’re skinny you believe that you’re not attractive and that you’re not a woman. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and question your own beauty. Skinny girl, I know what it’s like to be afraid to wear too tight of clothing because you don’t want someone to see and point out how skinny you are. I know what it’s like to hide behind baggy clothing.

I know what it’s like to stuff your face full and make yourself sick trying to gain weight because you’ve been told so many times that you need to, but you just can’t. I know what’s like to see people say that a size 00-0 is disgusting when you can’t help you’re naturally that small. I know what it’s like for people to not let you sit on them because your bones are too painful. I know what it’s like to have a guy that you like tell you that you can go ahead and have the last breadstick at the table because it looks like you need one. I know what it’s like to have girls and boys alike make fun and tease at how small you are. I know what it’s like to have people get one look at you and tell you that you need to eat a cheeseburger, and I know what it’s like to have people offer to take you out to dinner just so they can fatten you up. I know what it’s like for people to give you an awful look when you say you’re uncomfortable with your body, because how could someone who is thin have body image issues? I know how.

I know that it kills you inside, and I know what it feels like to walk silently in the world feeling like the ugliest, most unattractive person that walked the earth. But how could someone who is thin have body image issues? How can it be okay to call a girl “too skinny,” but it’s not okay to call a girl “too fat”? I know what it’s like to not understand that. How can the curvier girls be defended, but the skinny girls suffer in silence? It’s okay to criticize us, but it’s not okay to criticize them. It doesn’t make sense. Telling a girl that she looks like a whale is horrible; it's considered bullying; but telling a girl that she looks like a skeleton and malnourished is fine, it goes unnoticed and nothing is done about it.

Skinny girl, I know. I know what it feels like to feel hopeless. I know what it’s like to feel like it’ll never end, because I’ve been there. I’ve felt every pain that you have, and I still feel it sometimes to this day. I’m here to tell you that it won’t end, and that people are always going to pick at and criticize your size. But I’m also here to tell you that you can fight back, because I know what it’s like to feel perfectly petite, and feel beautiful -- to actually love myself. I know what it’s like to have friends and family that make you feel and constantly tell you that you are beautiful, and I know what it’s like to have a loving God that silences all negative comments. I know what it’s like to look in the mirror and not question your beauty. I know what it’s like to take people’s comments like a grain of sand, because I have learned. I have learned that being a woman is not defined by how big our curves are, but being a woman is defined by our character. And I have learned that being beautiful is not defined by how you look on the outside.

Skinny girl, I’m here to tell you that you may never gain weight, you may never have large breasts or curves, but I’m here to tell you that you are every bit a woman, and that one day you will feel beautiful, because you are, and that the absolute ugliness of the world will not be able to hide that forever.

Sincerely your fellow skinny girl,

Kelsey

Next time, think about what you're saying before you say it. And skinny girls, come out from behind your baggy clothing. Speak out and stop skinny shaming. You don't deserve it -- nobody does.