I am the older sister.

I have done all the bad things, the stupid, the outrageous, and the weird. And I'm okay with who I am.

But I sometimes I feel that I am not actually meant to be the older sister. Have you ever felt this way? My sister is only three years younger than me, so when we were kids, we hated each other. I used to pick on her physically like all siblings do, but one day my sister got strong and picked back at me.

Whoa. This is not how it's supposed to work there, friend. I'm bigger than you, so I automatically win all the fights.

But one day, my sister and I lost something so important to us, it shattered who we thought we were.

We grew up in a single-parent home with my grandparents living next door. Our nana and papa helped raise us and did an amazing job with helping our mom. We considered our papa our dad, because our dad wasn't around or worth a lot. The summer between me starting high school and my sister starting middle school, he died.

We became different people almost instantly.

I cried all the time about it, and my sister took care of me and everyone around her. I honestly don't think she cried about it for an entire year. She took care of my nana and kept the peace between my mom and myself. I chose to raise a little cane and act like a wild child, while she scolded me for my decisions, when my mom couldn't. My sister always saw me doing a stupid thing, told me the exact outcome and I never listened. She has always been wise beyond her years.

Then one day we were sitting listening to music and I looked at her and thought, "She should be the big sister, because I am doing an awful job at setting a good example for her." Then, I kid you not, she said something along the lines of, "I'm glad you did all the stupid things first, so I didn't have to."

Fast forward to now. I'm in college and she's turning 16 this month. I'm sitting here, remembering the annoying little kid that used to follow me around and how I wished that I was an only child. Now, I follow my sister around annoying her to death asking if she likes anyone, if I can have my bra back (I know you're reading this, and you know which one), what's going on in her Tumblr world, and if she'll hold my daughter for a second (she usually says no, if she's been in the room for more than 15 minutes). She is an amazing writer and I hope she'll write for The Odyssey one day. She is hilariously intelligent, like she has a genius level IQ. She is sweet, comedic, caring, strong willed, and loves her family. I look up so much to her. I wish I was more like her. But then she wouldn't be the sun to my moon. We balance each other.

If you're like me and feel like you're really the younger sibling in the older sibling's body, give them a hug and tell them you love them, because they're still figuring things out, too. We never stop growing, and if they are physically younger than you, they will go through things at different paces than you and things will always be changing. I find myself thinking now, "Man, she's so grown up, WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN? WHY ARE WE SO OLD NOW?" When in actuallity we have our lives ahead of us and I'm glad we have one another to grow old with.

So here I am, big sister writing an article for my baby sister who isn't a baby, but a really rad young lady. I love you, munchkin. Happy Birthday.