It's been almost eight years since you passed away and sometimes I still think you are here. Sometimes I go to pick up the phone to tell you something that I accomplished just to hear you say, "I'm so proud of you sweetie." When I am upset, I beg for you to come back and tell me what to do.
The day that you passed was such a cloudy day. My mom came to wake me up for school and I thought it was just a normal day. That day was far from normal. My mom looked like she had been crying for hours. When she told me that you had passed away, my heart sun and I could not believe it or even grasp the fact that you were gone. She told me I did not have to go to school, but I still did because I knew you would not want me to be at home crying all day. I do not remember anything but the car ride to school that day. Everything else is a blur like it did not even happen.
The day of your funeral, I was in the worst state of mind that I could ever be in. Everyone kept saying, "She was his angel," and that is what killed me the most. Today, I have a tattoo just for you that says, "I was his angel and now he is mine." I look at it multiple times a day.
I have started liking penguins since the day that we went to clean out your house. I took almost everything that was penguin related. Since then, my penguin collection has grown. For birthday and Christmas presents, my family and my roommate got me penguin related gifts because they know how much penguins mean to me. Penguins are the only things that I have left of you.
Holidays are not the same without you. You are usually always the topic of discussion. My family loves bringing up memories of you and funny stories. When we are telling a story about you, I wish you would just come into the conversation and tell the story yourself.
We all miss you every day. Some days are harder than others. Even though we can sit here and be sad about it all day, we are not because we know that is not what you would want. My aunt and my mom are the two main people who can get me through the hard days. I really just hope that I am making you proud, that is my one wish.
I refuse to say goodbye because I know you are still watching over me. Instead of goodbye, I am going to say, "See you soon."
I love you, Uncle Steve, rest in peace.