To My Nonna, Love Your 'Sweet Angel'
Community

To My Nonna, Love Your 'Sweet Angel'

Thank you for the childhood of memories that I will carry with me for life.

36
To My Nonna, Love Your 'Sweet Angel'
Michelle Lucas

Dearest Nonna,

It's been a year and some since you have passed, and you've been on my mind lately. I'm not sure if they're little subtle hints that you've been dropping from God's right side or not, but you've been clouding my mind with simple memories and reminders this past week. Needless to say, I miss you.

You knew I didn't have any sort of grandparent representation besides you, and you made up for that. Every birthday, holiday, and call you made meant the world to me, and even though you lived in California the majority of the time, you always made sure I was doing okay. Whether it be about school, dance, or even boys, you knew exactly what to say that Dad couldn't really touch on. You knew childhood life was hard for us, and maybe that's why you moved down here for that little while. But, that's what I needed: I needed a woman to nurture me in the way I haven't been.

I remember I was in trouble once for being disruptive in class, and my parents weren't handling it well. I came home to you — you cooking a big vat of ravioli in red sauce — and I just sat and cried to you. You took me in to your once bedroom, sat me down, and said, "You're different, my sweet angel. My free spirit child." To this day, whenever I do something different or make power moves, I think of you saying that to me, and that gives me the strength to keep going.

Thank you Nonna for making me feel normal and strong when all I was doing was being me.

Once you moved back and I got older, you got sick. You were fragile like a paper doll, and we kept getting calls that your health was worsening. But, you kept going — you lived for years more, fighting. Until one day, you couldn't keep going.

I was sitting at my former work place — I worked for my former dance studio — and my dad got the call that you had hurt yourself. As my parents were frantically figuring out what to do, my dad had me call you: and you answered. For the first time in my life, you couldn't remember me: and I was crushed. You kept repeating, "who is this?" and every time I forced my name out of my choked up throat, my heart would skip a beat. Until you finally remembered me, and said, "my sweet angel, how's my free spirited little girl?" and poof: you forgot me again within a second.

It was that day that I realized you weren't going to last forever.

Years later, your daughter and my aunt called me, telling me that you had only a couple weeks, and that I needed to say goodbye. I was estranged from my family, and I was living with my boyfriend and his family. I called you for the last time, you were weak. The call was similar to the previous one: I had to repeat my name several times till I heard a soft coo, "my sweet angel, where's your dad?", and I broke down. A couple days later, you passed away, and were free from all pain.

Then, a miracle happened.

My boyfriends mom — who was helping me through it — recommended I go to a medium: someone who could help me get through my funk and help me through issues. So, I went, and he saw you.

He said, "behind you is a beautiful olive-skinned woman with long black hair in an apron. I believe she is your grandma, isn't she?". INSTANTLY, I felt chills. The medium said, "she says to keep going, sweet angel." To this day, I still look back on that recording, and get chills.

Nonna, thank you for your childhood with me.

Thank you for the endless Twilight Zone marathons, every pearl you ever gave me, and *trying* to teach me to cook. Thank you for introducing me to my little cousins, and thank you for being mediator between my parents and I. Thank you for the memories at Christmas, where you made Panettone and other Italian delicacies. Finally, thank you for accepting me for who I am. It was because of you I felt I could be as loud as I wanted, and as different as I could be.

Now, every time I watch the Twilight Zone, eat honey and fig ice cream, and chew Trident gum, I feel you surrounding me. Your disease, pain and old age may have taken your life, however you still live on through me.

Ti amo, Nonna.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Caribbean is a place where people go for vacation, but if you set out from a cruise ship you miss out on all the beautiful culture. Their exotic beaches are nothing without their zinging food and hospitality. Locals in the Caribbean are warmhearted with a zest to live life to the fullest.

This is exactly where most of their words and phrases come from, having a good time. I definitely enjoyed myself living in the Caribbean, but it's not always about lounging. They get work done too and I've learned proper phrases for accomplishments.

Keep Reading... Show less

According to Urban Dictionary, a "simp" is defined as "a man that puts himself in a subservient/submissive position under women in the hopes of winning them over, without the female bringing anything to the table." There are many other definitions for a "simp," but basically it's shaming men who are kind to women without getting anything in return.

Let's just stop attacking nice men. Work out your own issues, don't project your shortcomings onto another man. What happened to the brotherhood? Y'all can lie for each other, but can't raise each other up? You guys can encourage murder, gang rape, and violence against women — or at least stay silent about it — but can't let your brother know it ain't cool when they bring you down for being nice to women with no expectation?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Self-Love Is The Best Love, That's Just How It Is

Do you ever feel like you can't please everyone? Self-love will do the trick.

I've been feeling a little down lately, with the understanding that friends don't last forever and that I can't always please my parents. Life has been rough for everyone lately and it's not easy to stay happy and optimistic during these times. But I promise you, you are on this earth for a reason. You are here because God formed you, to love, and to be loved.

When things are tough, realize that you have yourself always. No one can take that away from you. You will always be you. No matter who you are, what you believe, or where you've been in life, at the end of the day, you are you. You can love you, therefore giving you one reason to stay here on this Earth.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Nobody Wants To Grieve, But That's The Price We Pay For Love

Grief never comes when you think it should. It comes when a certain song comes on or the sun shines through the window just right.

Death always seems to come when life is good and everything starts to be going alright. And then out of nowhere, you're reminded of how cruel life can be. The stages of grief don't always go in order, they come in waves or all at once. Grief never comes when you think it should. It comes when a certain song comes on or the sun shines through the window just right. I take comfort in the fact that everyone experiences grief, even when you feel all alone knowing that everyone goes through a process that helps a little bit.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What's Coming To And Leaving Netflix In August For Your Summer Viewing Pleasure

Just in time for another your end of summer binge-watch list.

Flower Films, Warner Bros, New Line Cinema

August is here, which means we will be losing some of our Netflix favorites but gaining some new ones. Here is a list of TV shows and movies we will be losing and gaining on Netflix during August.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Living With Bipolar Disorder Is An Everyday Battle, But I'm Fighting It

I went from depression, to anxiety, to bipolar disorder.

I've thought about how to write this since my diagnosis. I've thought about what kind of feelings it might bring up from my mom, former friends, and even myself. I've rewritten it a thousand times in my head, but never could quite get the words onto my notepad, but tonight I'm going to sit down and write it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

There's No Reason To Delay The 2020 Election Because Mail-In Votes Count Just The Same

Plus, Trump can't actually the delay the election even if he tried.

Donald Trump started Thursday out in a fury, taking to Twitter to suggest the 2020 election be delayed.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

I'm A Black, Gay Fashion Lover Who Grew Up In The South, And I Want To Be A Beacon For The Future

Giving your life story is never easy, but it can be, if you want to make a difference.

Jacorey Moon

Growing up in Georgia was not always the accepting place we know it to be today thanks to Atlanta. Let me preface this by saying, I had a pretty good life growing up. I was raised by a single mother who sacrificed so that I could live the life that I lived. I was spoiled rotten. One way that my mother spoiled me was through clothing.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

These 10 Black Women Were Our 2000s Fashion Icons — We're Still Replicating Their Looks Now

We recollect on some of the Black stars who served as fashion icons during the 2000s.

When we talk about the 2000s, it's always filled with nostalgia. For most of us, we grew up during that era with the razr flip phones or sidekicks, and decade staple designers like Juicy Couture, Von Dutch, and Ed Hardy. It was time of daring fashion choices and red carpets that we now look back on and say, "what were they wearing?"

A sector of people that exemplifies the fashion icons who ruled the 2000s, were Black women. So, I feel as though it's my duty to shine light on these fashion icons. Here they are:

Keep Reading... Show less
Netflix

As a college student (really as a broke person with no cable,) Netflix is my go-to for solitude- style entertainment. My favorite types of shows to watch on Netflix by far, are dating shows.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments