It’s funny how time can tick by, whether it’s fast or slow, and the world around you begins to fall back into place, regardless if a piece of it is missing. To me, that just doesn’t feel right. It feels like we shouldn’t be this happy or we shouldn’t keep moving forward. But that’s what time does; it just ticks by and pushes you towards the future.
Well according to the illusion of time, you have been gone for a year and a half. And in the 547 days since your passing, I think about you everyday, as many of us do.
From praying to you each night, to missing you and reminiscing on our crazy stories, it’s still hard to believe. It’s difficult to comprehend that you’re not just on some long vacation, sun-kissed and dipping your toes in the water, or moved across the country to pursue your dream job; you’re actually gone from this earth.
Although, since you’ve been gone, you have taught me more than I could have ever learned in 16 years of school. You have showed me what it means to embrace life and live the days you are given graciously and gratefully. You have given me strength when I feel weak, and courage when I am afraid. And for all this, it seems insignificant to just thank you. Instead, I want to thank you, but I also want to make you proud.
Life without you isn’t easy, and I doubt I will ever fully patch the hole in my heart that was left after you passed, but that’s what makes this so important. Making you proud isn’t just something that will ease the pain, it gives me a reason to keep moving forward as time ticks by.
I hope to make you proud by living each day to the fullest, as you would have done and I am sure still do with the big man upstairs.
I hope to make you proud by continuing to be determined and working my butt off in school, work, and life in general. Let's be honest, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hope to make you proud in the relationships I choose. Whether these relationships are platonic or romantic, I will surround myself with people that challenge me as well as support me to be the best I can be, as you still do.
I hope to make you proud by making positive lifestyle choices. Whether this is staying healthy, focusing on my wellbeing, and maintaining my happiness, I will make every choice with you in mind.
I hope to make you proud by continuing to live my life the way you would. You may not be here physically, but I can assure you that I feel your presence constantly. Like I always say, you’re forever in my heart, never forgotten.
Thank you for everything you have taught me as you guide me through this crazy thing we call life. You may not be here physically like I said before, but I know you are still be my side and always with me. And by just knowing that, I am so grateful. You're forever my best friend, and I truly hope I am making you proud.
