I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that things just never seem to work out. I know that I asked a lot of you, and that I wasn't the best person, but I truly mean the best. I had some real feelings for you, and it's sad that they won't be able to grow like I had hoped. But that's on you, not on me.
When we became close, I had just gotten out of a two year relationship. Yes, me and my ex were only in highschool, but we were planning our lives together. You don't seem to realize that because you are so young. Him and I had plans, and for the longest time it was hard for me to see anything other than those plans shattered on the floor.
I could've just thrown myself into a relationship with you right away, but I knew that that wouldn't be fair to you. I would always still be thinking about him. You don't understand that I need space and time because I wanted to actually feel things for you. I needed to make sure you weren't just going to be some rebound and I'd forget about you.
I knew that me going away to college was going to be a hard adjustment. I knew that I couldn't commit to this new lifestyle while being newly committed to you. I needed to adjust and learn how things work here. I needed to stay and make friends, not go home every weekend to see you and build something with you.
I asked for time, and you said you would wait. You didn't wait. But you did play me along these last 14 weeks. Every time I came, you would be with me. You'd act like everything was fine and that we were great.
Then I come home, ready to tell you that I'm finally ready to give this my all. To tell you that I know I can commit to this and still succeed here at school. I was finally ready to let myself fall for you. But you didn't wait. You found whatever girl threw herself at you first. This wouldn't hurt as bad if the girl was actually a decent person and that she truly liked you. But she doesn't. I can guarantee you that you're one of many to her.
With all of this being said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you can't see that you have someone right in front you willing to give you her all. So I wish you the best of luck with your new life without me.
