To My (Incoming) Sophomore Year,

I am going to let you in on a little secret: I could not care less if I go back to school in two weeks. Now, I know that sounds absolutely horrible, but to be honest it is the truth. I kind of hated my freshman year. There were good parts, yeah, but there were also an overwhelming amount of negative things that surrounded me. I think that those things have given me a sense of indifference about returning to school (of course, I think I am that way about any kind of place).

That being said, I have hope for this school year. While I do not really care if I return to my specific university, there are people there I care about and things that I wish to accomplish through the school. I have a roommate who is actually talking to me about our room (that did not happen for me last year, and I ended up living alone), I have classes that are actually aligned with my major, and I will hopefully be taking a little within my sorority in the Fall. Things are looking bright for me this year.

I am not naïve to think that it will be perfect though. I know I am still going to have issues with feeling like I fit in or belong, I will probably have to continue to work on my procrastination, and I will probably spend a lot of time alone in my room. That is no different from how things were last year. I guess I am just hoping that things will change a little bit. I want to be excited for school, not dreading it. There is a lot that I am going to have to work on and grow at in order for me to be excited though, and I know that it is not just things that happen in previous years. I think it is rooted a lot deeper than that.

So, to my incoming sophomore year: I hope that you have some new adventures and new people. I hope that the negative things I experienced last year are going to be just memories and not continuing realities. I hope that some things start to make sense for me--from why people treat people the way they do to why it constantly feels like I am fighting for friendships that the other person does not want.

I hope that you are full of lessons--both academic and socially. I hope that this school year is full of opportunities for me to grow as a person and in my career field of choice. I also hope that when I apply for the Disney College Program at the end of the semester that you bring me good news.

This summer has been so great and it makes me feel even more indifferent about returning to school. I have been to concerts, spent time with my family, gone to Daytona Beach, Florida, and managed to make it to Disney World. Now I have to return to school for a few months, try to learn as much as I can and pass exams, and then get ready to do it all again. I suppose you can see why I would not be thrilled.

But to my incoming sophomore year, please be gentle in the things you use to teach me. Sure, I am a little stronger than I look, but I do not want to spend my entire year hating everything about school. That would not be fair to the things that I genuinely enjoy.

To my incoming sophomore year: here goes nothing.