I’ll be completely honest. I had a really, really difficult freshman year of college. Between crying on the phone to my parents everyday for probably the first month of school, threatening to drop out of school, avoiding talking to most of my high school friends, and breaking down in my absolute favorite professor’s office, my first year was rough. I didn’t have high expectations coming into this, my sophomore, year. In fact, I didn’t really want to come back. Instead of looking at the calendar and counting down the days till I left like I had done the year before, I looked at the calendar hoping the days would go by more slowly.

I worried how I would feel when I got back onto this campus. Would it feel like home? Or would I feel apprehensive like I had the year before? Would I immediately want to be back in Portland? I really didn’t know. I was prepared for the worst. And cautiously expected the best.

But this year, so far, has been amazing. I am infinitely happier this year than I was at any point last year.

And I think I know why.

Last year, I came into the year knowing nobody. Well, my roommate, but I didn’t really know her. Sophomore year, you know people. And when I think about the majority of my interactions on a daily basis, they aren’t long conversations with my friends cause college kids are busy people ya know? They’re short “hey! how are you?” type of interactions, both with people that I know really well and people that I don’t know as well, on the way to class or in the library or in the dining hall. It is those little interactions that make school feel like home and affirm that I belong here.

When people talk about the sophomore slump, they talk about classes being harder. And I won’t lie, I am, without a doubt, more challenged this year than I was last year. But I’m also more interested in my classes. So it doesn’t annoy me that I’m spending way more time on readings or essays or homework assignments. I’m past a lot of prerequisites, and now get to choose classes that I’m truly interested in. Not to say that core classes or prerequisites aren’t interesting, because I loved some of my core classes, but now I get to direct what I learn about. I choose what classes I’ll take, and consequently, what classes will challenge me. The point of college, the point of any education, is to challenge yourself to think more critically. You’re here (and paying serious $$$) to be challenged, so embrace it. Don’t complain about it.

Another big plus of sophomore year: Freshman year FOMO is gone. Freshman year, you feel like if you don’t go to every event or party or have lunch with a different friend everyday, you’re missing out on something that can never be gotten back. But you’re really not. Sophomore year you realize that. And you’re OK with that. If I want to go out, I will. But if I don’t want to, I won’t, because I know I’m not going to have a good time if I’m secretly longing to be huddled under my covers watching "Grey’s Anatomy" (RIP Derek Shepherd).

Sophomore year is full of decisions. You’re not babies to college anymore, and you probably don't have the liberty of taking classes just to try them out. And that’s really hard. Especially if you’re someone like me who is apparently ridiculously indecisive and noncommittal. So when I find myself all frazzled and stressed about my majors and minors and what the hell I’m going to do with my life, I try and remind myself that these decisions aren’t burdens, but rather privileges. I’m lucky to be at a school that has so many different programs that are interesting to me. I’m lucky to have parents that will support whatever decisions I end up making. And I’m lucky to have so many wide open doors in front of me, and I get to choose which ones I walk through. Thinking about sophomore year this way is way easier said than done, but I at least try and remind myself that whatever decisions I end up making, they aren’t life or death. After all, I’m only 19...how much do I really know? Or, my personal favorite excuse: my prefrontal cortex is still developing.

Without a doubt, sophomore year is different. The newness of college and independence is gone, but that doesn’t mean the excitement has to be gone. It’s harder to maintain the friendships you formed freshman year when you aren’t all living within 40 feet of each other, but it’s OK. You form new friendships, and keep the old ones even if they’re not quite the same. Different doesn’t have to be a bad thing. After all, we’re all slowly changing and growing into the people we’re supposed to be. You’re hopefully past the point of just wanting to blend in. Put yourself out there and get involved in new things. I did, and I honestly can’t remember a time when I’ve been happier.

I don’t mean to say sophomore year is a dream. I’m constantly thinking about what I have to do next. I’m fraught with self doubt about the person I want to become. I struggle to find balance in my day. I constantly find myself having to prioritize one thing and letting others slip behind.

Thanksgiving break is in less than two weeks, and I remember last year I was counting down the days to go home. Of course I’m excited to go home and see family and friends, but I don’t need it. I'm truly happy here. This is where I thrive.

I’m busy. I’m stressed. I’m exhausted.

But I’m not in a slump.