To My Friend Who Doesn't Know Her Self-Worth

To My Friend Who Doesn't Know Her Self-Worth

If only you could see yourself through my eyes.
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Every single day you look in the mirror, tearing yourself apart. You think you aren't skinny enough. You think you aren't outgoing enough. You think you aren't fun enough. You think you aren't enough at all.

It's not an easy thing to watch, in fact, it actually pains me to see you view yourself in such a light. It pains me because I have seen you in every single light, not just the lights hanging above your mirror. I have seen you at your worst, and I have seen you at your best. I have seen you in enough of these lights to know that in any of them, whether it be direct sunlight, a slight shadow, a dim flame, or complete darkness, you are beautiful from every angle. When I look at you, I see the most magnificent, glowing light of them all.

Yes, you are beautiful. But I'm not just talking about your outer appearance. You are absolutely stunning on the inside, and you shine your own light from within. There will be people throughout life that make you question whether you truly have your own radiance; forget those people, for you can extinguish their hate with your kindness and love. Please know that these people are not the ones who matter, it's the people who can see your light even on the stormiest of your days that will matter until the end of time. When I look at you, I see true, pure beauty, a beauty that cannot be found by looking in a mirror, but by looking within.

You have your struggles, challenges, and hurdles, and you have plenty of them. I know sometimes you wonder if you can even bare to face another day; if you are even able to mutter up enough strength to carry yourself through another hour. You see yourself as weak, not resilient, a let down. Let me tell you, you are one of the strongest, most influential, inspiring people I have ever met. Not everyone can make it through the continuous hard times that you have faced, it's true. It takes a special kind of someone to endure the worst of times to get to the best of times. When I look at you, I see a warrior; a human being that knows she is more than the obstacles thrown in her path. When I look at you, I feel pride. I am proud to know and love a true fighter, combating everything that gets in her way.

You never believe that you are enough. But, it's never that you don't believe you aren't enough for yourself, you don't even think about yourself, it's that you don't believe you are enough for anyone else. You always tell me you feel as though you can't be there for people, that you are constantly letting people down. To me, you are the most selfless person on the face of this beautiful planet. You are so giving, so caring, so willing to drop everything to help someone in need. You are more than enough to everyone. You are more than enough to everyone, except the one person who really matters, yourself. When I look at you, I feel happiness. I can't help but smile and feel grateful to know someone like you.

It's time you start to realize that this life is about you first, above all else. Once you can start to see yourself through my eyes, you'll see that you are beautiful, you are strong, you are enough, and most importantly, you are totally, completely, and unconditionally loved. When I look at you, I see a girl who will love herself in that way too.

"You've only ever seen yourself in two ways, looking in the mirror and in pictures. You've never seen you the way I have. When you're laughing and your face is lit up from happiness, when you're reading your favorite book, when you blush and bite your lip after hearing a compliment, when you are slowly drifting off into your dreams. So when you say you are not beautiful, when you say you hate yourself, your justification does not count, because you've only seen yourself in two ways, I've seen you in hundreds."


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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Blood Doesn't Determine Family

Blended families are just as much of a family as a traditional one.

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If you look above, you can see that have a very large family on my mother's side. Between my grandparents, aunts and uncle, cousins and my own immediate family, we're at thirty-three members and counting. All branches of our family tree have busy lives, so we don't get to see each other as much as often as we would hope to. Christmas is the one time a year where we all finally get together for the evening. If you sat in on our holiday party, you may think that we have a couple screws loose, but there is no doubt that you would be able to feel the love radiating from room to room.

If you look at the picture I chose for my header, you can see all of the cousins gathered for our yearly picture. Dysfunctional, of course, but you can tell that love is there. Would it surprise you that out of our entire huge family, less than half of us are blood-related?

I come from a blended family, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Blood does not determine family to us. Love does.

Divorce can be a messy thing, especially when children are involved. Both my aunt and uncle had remarried into relationships that already had children. For the most part, none of us can really ever remember a time when we weren't considered family. We don't ever look at each other as not being related. We never will. Family to us is the love and support that is shared unconditionally between us.

As I said, you would never be able to tell we weren't blood-related unless I told you. Not only do we all look similar to one another (which again is odd, because if the marriages had never taken place, we would just have a ton of doppelgangers running around), but the love and passion that we radiate is unmistakable that we have a bond that will never be broken, let alone determined by biology.

Blended families tend to get a bad rap sometimes from some of the horror stories that can come from second marriages. Not only that, but some people still are stuck in the idea that the only socially acceptable type of family is one where the lineage is clear and concise. Although I can see where these people come from, I don't believe that because there is a lack of shared genetics between all of us, our love is any less strong.

Family is those who will answer a call or text late at night because you need someone to talk to. They're the ones that you end up staying at their house and talking for hours when you meant to make a quick trip in. They are there for you no matter the situation and always believe in you one hundred percent.

Traditional families have a lot of love too, undoubtedly. But please, do not tell me that my family is any less of a family of a family because of its makeup. We have just as much love between us as families with the same bloodline. Blood does not determine the amount of love and affection between all of us. It never will. We will love each other as much as a traditional family. We never look at each other as a mixed family, so please stop treating us as such.

I've said it so many times, but I'll remind you once more. Blood does not determine family, love does-- and I love my family more than life itself.

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