Has it really been 365 days? My heart is still broken and I still do not understand. I've never been so speechless and had so much to say at the same time.

You were my best guy friend in high school. Some people didn't like that, some people really didn't like that, and the ones who didn't care, were the ones we hung out with almost every weekend.

I never understood the pain of losing a friend. I've lost grandparents, but they had other health issues going on so I was able to process what was happening before it happened. But then, it happened to you. When my friend sat me down after work and told me what happened, I was mad for a few seconds that she would say something so earth shattering. Then I realized it was real. My best friend wrapped me in his arms and sat with me as I cried and cried. He held me that entire night when I couldn’t sleep because I was crying so heavily and inconsolably. I cried for days and couldn’t sleep for weeks. I called our friends and we cried and talked about memories and how great you are.

When you lose a friend too young that was as magnificent as Riley Larue, it changes you. You begin to realize how precious each day is and that it can really happen to anyone, including yourself. Every day, God reminds me of him. I’m reminded of him anytime I hear something about basketball, the Special Olympics, Taco Bell and so much more. When I see the beauty in the creation around me, my eyes swell with tears form the joy that comes in knowing that Riley has the most incredible view in his forever home: Heaven. I scream and I cry and I yell when I’m alone in my car and even a year later, I still cry when I see old pictures and think of memories. In high school, I didn’t have a phone to take pictures on, so all of the pictures of the two of us are on his phone. When I got my hands on some from our friend’s mom, I was reminded of when the hot tub crew was so full that the hot tub would over flow. Over the years, the crew became 7, and then 5. Those memories and late nights are ones for the books! It was good, old fashioned, Christ-centered, innocent, fun. They were full of laughter and tears and smiles and hugs and blankets and movies and air hockey and hot tubs and pushing each other into the pool when we were holding our phones and driving around the neighborhood to look at pretty houses.

I am so thankful for that time we got to spend together. Sometimes I look back at old conversations and get the biggest smile on my face. I still listen to the songs he sent me and my entire day is made when I see someone from the hot tub crew. I never would have thought that there would only be a few years left to listen to your laugh, to pray with you, to talk about the sun and the moon and random Bible verses and all of the blessings and trials that God put in our lives.

I’m sorry that I took your time with us for granted. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on. Thank you for all of the rides and for taking me to Taco Bell and to my first R-rated movie. Thank you for reminding me to stand up for myself and for being such a light in so many peoples’ lives. Thank you for your smile and for sharing your heart for people with everyone you met. Thank you for being a man of God and letting the Lord use you for His glory.

Take pictures with your friends. Print them out and look at them everyday. Say yes when the people around you ask to spend time with you. Make sure your friends get home safe. WEAR YOUR SEATBELT! Make smart decisions. Thank God for every moment you get to look at the trees or breath the mountain air or feel your toes in the sand. Praise God for all of your blessings and lean on him during trials. Take NOTHING for granted and never let a day go by without telling your best friend, your significant other, your sorority sisters, your fraternity brothers, your family, and everyone in your life that you love them. Love people fully. If you feel less than happy, change your circumstances. Surround yourself with people that will make you smile when you think about them 20 years from now. There are so many things I wish I could tell myself at this time last year before this happened.

Thank you for the memories and for being so incredible Ri. Keep watching over us. I love you.