At some point in our lives, we will all lose someone to death. It's an experience that changes your life and shapes who you are. As someone who has lost many to death, I find that my life has been changed over and over again. While I know they are in a better place and filled with so much joy; I always wish I could talk to them again. If I could write a letter to heaven, this is what it would say.
To my dearly departed,
First and foremost, I miss you. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss your beautiful presence in my life. Your one a kind smile, your kind eyes, your personally that shined so bright, I miss everything. It's crazy because when you left, I began to remember the little things that I loved about you. The way your laugh sounded. The shape of your ears. The many colors of your eyes. It's the little things that stuck out to me. As more time passes, I fear deeply that I will begin to forget those little things. I never want to forget a single thing about you, but I realize that it's only human to forget, no matter how hard I try not to.
It amazes me how I'm able to get through the days without talking to you. At first, I never thought it would be possible. But I guess the saying is true that time heals all wounds. The wound of losing you is one that cuts me so deep, however, as more time passes it becomes a little less painful. I feel like I have lived two different lives. The one where I had you, and the one where I don't. Losing you changed my life in so many ways, so there's no way I could ever be the same person I was with you by my side. I'm trying my best to make the new me one that you would be proud of.
I look at the pictures of us, and at first they fill my heart with sorrow. However, there are times that I find myself uncontrollably laughing at the memories that were created at that moment. When I look at these pictures, it's like I'm being transported back into my old life. It's crazy because I never thought those moments would be some of the last ones I would create with you. With these pictures, I can hold on to you and our memories and be reminded of the joy you brought me. Because you fill my life with joy, every single day.
I hope you love heaven. It must be beautiful because one of the most beautiful people in the world is up there. I like to think of all that you are doing up in heaven and how much happiness fills your heart. I see you hanging with Jesus and laughing at the ridiculous things I do in my life. It's thoughts like these that make losing you just a little easier.
Most of all, I want you to know that I love you. Your presence in my life has shaped me into the person I am today... and I know for a fact that I am a better person just from knowing you. When you left this earth, you took a part of my heart with you. While I have to live without the part you took, you'll always have a part of me. One that can never be replaced. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your story, and thank you for being a part of mine. I love you. And miss you. Always.
