I am so sorry for the way I treated you before my journey began. I filled you with constant thoughts of how unworthy you were.
"Why aren't I as skinny as my friends?"
"Why am I always the ugliest in the room?"
"You will never be good enough."
These things should have never crossed my mind. I compared you to others in ways I should not have. I brought every ounce of confidence and self-esteem you had left and diminished it to nothing. I made you feel so alone that you truly believed you would be feeling that way forever.
I am sorry for creating the monster inside your head that constantly tried breaking you down. That never let any once of confidence break though. I am sorry for letting all the negative thoughts and opinions take over.
This apology is a long time coming. I should have always been grateful for what I was blessed with. You have blessed me with thick thighs and I will never fit into the same size as some of my friends. But guess what? There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Do not forget, I also got pretty green eyes and the genuine smile that I am finally showing. There is so much more to you than I would allow the world to see.
All of the things I used to hate about myself and punish you for are the things that I can proudly say I embrace. I embrace my body and who I am and am so proud to finally say that.
I finally did what I knew I needed to do in order to see the changes I wanted to see. And I can never express enough how much it has changed my entire mindset. Thank you for being so strong and keeping me healthy for the past twenty years. I am so sorry I took all of it for granted.
"I do not need to be as skinny as my friends...who cares?"
"Stop comparing yourself to others!"
"I will always be enough."