So you’re dating my best friend. Interesting. I’ve heard a lot about you. I know you’ve heard about me, too. We’ve met on Skype a few times, and even we snapchat, so I guess that makes us friends by association.
Your girlfriend has been my best friend for years now. I can’t imagine life without her. She’s seen me at my best and put up with me at my worst. She’s pretty great, but you know that. You have great taste.
We have the potential to be the dream team. We can consult before we go shopping for the special occasions! I know her (our) size and favorite everything, so let’s talk. I’d be happy to give you some clues as to why she’s mad at you, since you and I both know she won’t. Honestly, this could be great.
You’ve given me no reason to dislike you, so let’s make sure we keep it that way. I won’t tell you I’m going to beat you up if you hurt her, but I can promise you I will not be losing any sleep if we lose our snap streak or we stop liking each others pictures on Instagram. I’ll keep the “if you hurt her you’ll have to deal with me” short and sweet. Just don’t do it. She’s sweet and sarcastic and hilarious and moody, but she’ll never ever hurt anyone intentionally. You better do the same.
I like you, I really do. And I honestly can’t wait to meet in person! We get along better than I do with some of my own friends, and I can’t wait to get together and tell embarrassing stories about your girlfriend because, trust me, I have many. There are so many stories I cannot wait to tell you. She has embarrassed me in front of my boyfriend, it’s time for the tables to turn.
I’d also like to take this opportunity to prepare you for a few things. First, there will be double dates. I can assure you we’ve been talking about double dating for the longest time, so get ready. We’ve talked about places you’ll both like and we kind of can’t wait for our boyfriends to meet. Second, I will third wheel frequently and I won’t feel bad about it. Our friendship will blossom as we spend these three-way-dates poking fun at your girlfriend and bonding over our mutual love of annoying her. Plus, without me to join in on some of your dates, who’s going to take pictures and get those cute candids? You can thank me later.
So I guess that’s all then, huh? You make her happy, so I’m happy. You’ve been nothing but sweet and caring, and I appreciate you for that. I’m glad that she has you and I’m even happier you’ve got her. She’s a keeper—don’t forget it. It’s been real and I seriously can’t wait to actually meet you in person. Peace out, bro.
