An Open Letter To The Boy I Realized I Would Never Love
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To The Man I Realized I Would Never Love, I'm Sorry

I'm sorry about it, but I can't change the way I feel.

To The Man I Realized I Would Never Love, I'm Sorry

Dear boy whose heart I know I broke,

I'm so sorry about the way things went. I hope you know I never meant to hurt you. Actually, I wish that I could have loved you. It was obvious how good you were for me. I was constantly smiling, we would laugh over silly things, and I found myself really liking you.

When you told me that you loved me, I had no words.

I knew I didn't love you. From the beginning, I told you I didn't really want anything serious because I had just gotten out of a relationship and emotionally, I just wasn't ready yet.

You respected me and my feelings. Respect was always there. You told me to take my time when I didn't say it back that night. "People feel things at different rates," you said. "This is how I feel now, and it's okay if you're not there. I just had to make sure I told you."

I was floored. No one had ever said anything like that to me. You deserved the world and so much more, and all I did was treat you wrong at the end. Honestly, I can't even tell you what changed. I woke up one morning and after taking some time, I realized I hadn't thought about you at all. You would never be the sun my world revolves around. I would never be the person who would love you the way I knew you deserved to be loved.

No matter how I felt or how much I wanted to keep trying to love you, I knew I couldn't.

So I told you right away. There was no point in leading you on and making it worse than it had to be. I hated myself for what I put you through. I kept trying to justify it by saying I had told you I didn't want anything serious in the first place and you knew that. Truth be told, I may have said it, but you took it really well.

I wish that I didn't have to break your heart. If I could go back, I would want to erase all of the sweet memories we shared so you wouldn't remember my face at all.

I saw you maybe two months after I broke things off. I was walking with my friends and smiling when we made eye contact.

That's all that happened. We saw each other and locked eyes before walking off and heading our separate ways.

I haven't seen you since. I hope that no matter what happened between us, you finally found someone who enjoys going to your favorite pie place or appreciates the games you like to play.

As much as I wish I had loved you, I had to let you go. I had to make sure you could go out and find your true soulmate. Holding onto you would have been selfish.

So, dear boy who I hope is happy now:

While I apologize for the way things went between us, I hope you can realize I never meant to hurt you. I was just clearing your path to find someone who would really appreciate you.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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