Unless you live under a rock and have no social interactions with anyone ever (which is impossible at college), you've been asked your major and what you want to do with it. That is inevitable. Sure, there are people out there who've known their life goals basically since the womb but for some, like myself, it's constantly changing.
For my January-term class, my media writing professor required all the students to email him a mini-biography of ourselves to him on the first day. Unlike many times in the past, the prompts we had to answer were deeper.
"Tell me a little about yourself. What is your major? Why communications? Where will you be in ten years? How did you get to where you are today?"
Okay so yeah, the prompts seem pretty standard but for me, the relatively simple assignment made me think about how many times all of these answers have changed over the years. I had gone from wanting to be a marine biologist and attending school in Hawaii as a first grader to sitting in a communications class hoping to graduate with a degree in media analytics. When asked in the past, the typical response usually was that I was undecided or it was whatever I was thinking about at that time. But you're rarely asked, "what did you want to be before this and why?" Though you're usually asked as a means to carry on a conversation, the past is usually ignored.
Over time, I have become a firm believer in the importance of your past and how it aids in the development of your future. Marine biologist was the first and (hopefully) media analytics is my last change of heart, but everything in between is just as important because each represents a time in my life that built me up to where I am today. Majors in teaching, kinesiology, marketing, international business, entrepreneurship, exercise science, strategic communications, or just a stay-at-home home mom (but honestly, who doesn't have those days?) have all been contemplated before. Besides the fact I'm very indecisive (just ask my mom - it's an issue), each of these has meant something to my life at that time.
Along with all those different ideas, becoming a professional runner has always been a dream, though not something I have thought of in recent months. When typing up my response to my professor, I recalled this hidden aspiration of mine and really thought about it. The amount of discipline, sacrifice, and patience it takes to become a professional athlete in any sport is second to none but that has always been the appeal. You never see a professional athlete and think that their abilities were handed to them. It takes time and dedication for people to hone in on and to perfect the skills they have to become the best of the best. I've always struggled with finding the healthy balance I know I need to ever pursue this (lofty) goal of mine but instead of excluding this dream of mine, I decided to include it to my professor.
I'm not sure what made me do it, as it's something I've never seriously discussed with anyone before. However, taking the short break away from campus gave me a lot of time to think in my loads of free time. Not only did my running really start to turn around, but I started to feel like a new-and-improved version of myself. When I left Buffalo in August 2016, I didn't expect to be so relieved to go home. All my life I had worked to get away but upon arriving in my driveway in the small town of Pendleton, it hit me just how lucky I was to have all the opportunities that I do.
Becoming a pro runner may always remain just a dream but it also may not. The characteristics that define what it takes to give everything you have to a sport seem daunting but as each day passes and new lessons are learned, I feel myself getting closer and closer to who I want to be. Whatever the future holds, I look forward to finding myself and figuring out who I really am.
