To the girls in elementary school who laughed at me for dressing the way I did, I forgive you. To the family members that never seemed to be proud of me no matter what I did, I forgive you. To the toxic ex-best friend that made sure all my school days were hell if I enjoyed even a second of one, I forgive you. To the boys who would follow me to my locker just to tell me I wasn't good for anything but sex, I forgive you. To the girl who lied to me about my first love just to ruin it for me, I forgive you. To the teacher who told me I wasn’t smart enough to go to college, but that it was okay because we needed more garbage men, I forgive you. To the music program that I wrongly trusted with my passions, I forgive you. To the ones who laughed at my insecurities, I forgive you. To the people I once called my friends, I forgive you. To the people who still feel the need to constantly degrade my feelings and friendships, I forgive you. And to everyone else in between, I forgive you too.
Why do I forgive you all? Because all of that negativity also played a crucial role in who I became. Each and every one of those memories contributed to the development of the beautiful person I already am and the one I will continue to become. Though I didn’t know it at the time, the girls who laughed at me and lied about me had knocked me down so that I could rebuild a better, happier version of myself. The boys and friends who followed me around and degraded my self-worth opened my eyes to how I deserved better than that. The music program I wrongly trusted with my passion for music made me realize that my true passions lay elsewhere. The teacher who made me feel like I would never go to college sparked the motivation for me to actually be here in school today.
Each time something negative happened, I hated myself. I hated my life. I hated who I was and who I was becoming to the point where I didn’t want to think of a future. Somehow, I made it through that dark, cloudy point in life. Not without some little changes, of course. I’m talking about you, depression and anxiety. And I forgive you all. Life is too short to agonize over the negative while things like a sunset on a lake and jazz music exist.
I hope one day you all realize how beautiful each of you truly are. Every scar, mentally and physically, and every inch of you is such a breathtaking being. I truly believe that. I hope one day you will too. And remember, forgive.
To everyone, I forgive you...and I also thank you.
