“Here's to the liars and the cheaters and the cold mistreaters.”
I think it's inevitable that we all find someone in our lifetime who’s going to hurt us.
There was a time when I used to think that fighting for someone was romantic and bold. Wanting someone so much that it hurts, and knowing that having them there with you would bring you happiness...
Having a relationship at this stage in life can be confusing. You’re both trying to grow into the people you want to be, without growing apart from each other. Relationships are a lot of give and take, time and effort, and some compromise. Sadly, sometimes you start to realize that the people who you’re giving your time and energy to, someone who you’d gladly compromise all of the important things in your life for, isn’t someone who’s willing to do the same for you. Remember this, know this, accept this. Recognize your own worth and know the difference between how much you’re getting from someone and what you deserve. If you ever find yourself asking “does this person care about me?” just know that if you even have to wonder, the answer is obviously no. When the day comes when it’s time to part ways, let them go if they’re wanting to go. It is better to let them walk away from you than all over you.
...And then one day I realized that having to constantly try and convince someone to love you is not romantic at all.
Sometimes the one you want, isn’t the one you need. We all learn this the hard way, and we often get the two confused. We think that we need to keep someone in our lives because it’s familiar to us, it’s comfortable. We hate change, so we try to keep things the same, and when things end up falling apart and change becomes unavoidable, we don’t know how to deal with it. You’re sad, you’re mad, and you’re heartbroken, but through your flood of emotions, never forget that you don’t NEED anyone who doesn’t need you, and definitely do not lose sleep over someone who’s probably in bed with someone else. Sometimes change isn’t what we want, but it’s exactly what we need.
Don't look for love or happiness where you lost it. If someone that you were willing to go to war for has it in their heart to hurt you, then why are you still clinging on the hope of things changing? You deserve better. You deserve to be loved as much as you love them. Honestly, just stop looking for love all together. Be the kind of girl who is okay to be alone, who is complete without someone there to reassure her, because she already knows. Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the best way to be sad.
Don't regret it. Don't regret the time you shared or the moment you met. Don't regret falling in love and being with someone who made you laugh until your stomach hurt. Don't regret it, because, at one point in time, it was everything you ever wanted, and even if it was only temporary, it was still beautiful.
I hope you don't let this change who you are. Even though I know you're hurting, I hope you can still find a way to be the girl who feels every emotion to its deepest lengths, and I hope that you don't let this ruin your idea of what love is and should be. Keep loving people so deeply that your soul aches. It can hurt sometimes, yes, but It's what keeps us knowing we're alive.
But forgive them. Forgive those who hurt you. Not for them, but for you. It takes an awful lot of energy constantly analyzing how things went wrong or why someone didn't think you were worth fighting for. It leaves you mad and sad and it makes you want to scream and cry all at the same time. Don't spend too much of your precious time worrying about something you can't change, just forgive and move on.
And also forgive yourself. Stop wishing you had done something differently or wishing you had been better. Don't live in the past, don't even look back at it.
Sometimes you end up never speaking to someone who meant everything to you ever again, and that’s okay. You learn how to move on without them and you survive. Cherish the old times, but open your heart to new beginnings.
“Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End." - Semisonic
