Being from the ‘South’ and being raised in a religious, Southern, conservative family, but also being in the LGBTQ+ community and seeing a more liberal side of the world, I feel like there a few things that should be said.

Not all Christians are hateful, heterosexist people. I myself am a Christian, and a good majority of my very best friends are Christian. I spend time talking with my best friend (who is a Christian) about how I’ll be in her wedding and she will be mine. While some people (a good majority) use their religion as a means for bullying, this is by no means a true representation of Christian people. Just because someone disagrees with you does not make them a bad person; it’s how they treat you that determines that.

That being said: not all LGBTQ+ (insert any other minority group) are crazy freaks who are trying to ruin good family values. I recently went to Pride, and there were so many people there working for charities and different, amazing causes. Most LGBTQ+ people want exactly what straight cisgendered people do. We just want a career that makes us happy, family who loves us, and maybe a family of our own one day. That’s the gay agenda. Right there. We aren’t out to suck the souls of your children, but you have to accept that just because the nation isn’t aligning with what you want out of your life, doesn’t mean that the nation is in the wrong. This war really seems like cats and dogs, but it doesn’t have to be. We need to see it from each other’s perspectives.

So to the ‘Southern’ people with ‘morals.’ I have to say you do do a great job of making me, personally, feel like crap. Not all of you, but if I had to generalize it, it would fall into that category. I don’t even think it’s just the LGBTQ+ thing, I just think it’s anything that’s ‘different.’ When I hold my girlfriend’s hand at the grocery store I see all the nasty looks. Let’s be real, it’s not like people don’t see them.

Ever since I cut my hair, I’ll walk into WalMart and get the same stupid looks. I’m so used to smiling and saying thank you or making polite small talk, but I notice when peoples’ eyes aren’t catching my eyes accidentally, and that's when I smile people don’t always smile with the same genuine kindness that they used to when I fit into a perfect stereotype of what’s acceptable. When mothers are with their children I do a good job at feeling…bad. They don’t want their kids to see a ‘person like me’ buying Special K. I don’t know how, but I just feel out of place, like I don’t belong. At a grocery store. In my own town.

To anyone bashing the Southern conservatives: I know it may not seem like it based on the above, but in some cases, they aren’t bad people. Most of them don’t even know they’re doing anything, if they are. They’re all good people in their own right. The lady who looked at me with a look of disgust may donate her time and efforts to a local children’s hospital, I don’t know. Even if, they don’t see the world like we do. They can’t see what it’s been like in our shoes. It takes exposure and witnessing the diversities. All they know is the stereotypes, and what the negative media has told them. They feel like stuff outside of their morals are attacks on their morals, you know?

I can’t speak on behalf of all of them, but I know a lot of them probably see us as the enemy, when it’s not us they’re mad at. They’re mad at all the changes in the world. Also, just because someone isn’t actively supporting you, doesn’t mean they’re actively against you. It’s a harsh reality, but it’s one we have to face.

Remember to surround yourself with the support you need, and that you can never take something that isn’t being willfully given. That being said -- there are a lot of southern conservatives who are genuinely nice and kind, even to diversities. We don’t want them to categorize and lump us all together, so we shouldn’t do it to them, even if they do it.

The only way to began a peaceful acceptance on either side is begin to understand and accept the other side. It takes a small person to complain about things they don’t understand, but it takes a big person to stand up and learn to understand.

All of this being said: I’m a good person. Anyone who knows me personally can attest to that. I would go out of my way for half the people that would never give me the time of day, I would sacrifice anything for my friends, and I want to do nothing but help this world. I care passionately about anything I believe in, and I have a fire in my soul that makes me so passionate. I love my mom and dad. I miss my big brother. My Gran Gran and Pa mean the world and more to me. I’ve got some great grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all of whom I love, even if they don’t see eye to eye with me on a lot of things.

At the end of the day, that’s all I am. Just another person. So to the lady at the grocery store, or to anyone who is being a big ol’ negative Nancy, whether it be my hair, queerness, or a stain on my shirt -- you and me are just the same. I hope one day you don’t have so much judgment in your heart.