I always grew up being so insecure about myself, almost having social anxiety. Definitely caring way too much what people thought about me. I was never comfortable in my own skin. I was always a bit thicker than all my super skinny friends. I had stretch marks in places that made me think I was ruined.However I was just growing. I hated pool parties cause i had to wear a bikini, which made me so uncomfortable. I can't tell you how many times I would look in the mirror and just wish I looked different. All these thoughts made me feel so isolated, I began to turn shy. I held back from sharing my own opinions, afraid of being the outcast. I was so worried about being liked, and tried molding myself into being perfect. I clung onto every negative word that people said to me. I was so bonded up in trying to fit in. I used to spend hours looking up ways to be skinnier, or even tried following harsh diets on my young body. I was always shorter than my friends so I couldn't understand why I didn't have thinner legs, or natural abs like them. I wish I would've just understood what baby fat was, and stopped being so hard on myself.
You see it took me quite a while to finally comprehend that nobody is perfect, we all have flaws, and that none of this even matters. I spent so much of my life holding back, trying to be someone who I'm not. Little did I know that is entirely impossible. You can't please everyone, and that is entirely okay.
As we grow older it gets harder and even more confusing. So many different things to compare yourself to, boys grow into the spectrum. Our minds and hormones get all out of whack by a simple face. It's alright to be the girl that doesn't have all the guys falling at your feet. It doesn't make you less interesting, it doesn't mean your ugly, and it certainly doesn't mean your value decreases. A guy does not define your beauty. Honestly, a boy is never worth your self-esteem, your tears, or even your heart. When you learn to love yourself, and love God; he will lead you to the perfect man.You deserve a king,one that makes you feel beautiful.
If you have ever felt insecure, then why would you ever make others feel self-conscious? You know what its like to feel that awful heart breaking, self dislike. Don't inflect your own pain onto someone else, cause you think you'll feel better. What's your excuse to why you're not going up to someone who seems alone? Maybe you'll make their day by just saying hi. Especially if you're a christian, you better make someone feel loved everywhere you go. When you walk into a room you can be a light, and impact someones life by just being kind. We must learn to accept not only our own flaws, but others as well. Not everyone will agree with your thoughts, some people may have a short temper, and some may just talk too much. Accept it, and love them. There are so many people who are hurting everyday, who long just to be listened to. Embrace people with a loving manner.
Love yourself cause your stuck with you, plain and simple. Your body, mind, and voice are different from everyone else. You can be the best to your ability, but you will never be perfect. Be confident in your own skin. You're fearfully and wonderfully made. You make up who you are, nobody can ever change you. You are loved.
