Whether you’re a freshman going into college, starting a new job, or moving to a new town, being able to start fresh can be an amazing feeling. No one knows your past, who you used to be, the past mistakes that you made. That also means that you come across new people that you know nothing about.
Everyone shows the best version of himself or herself when they first meet someone.The "mask" as I would say. In any relationship, whether it's a friendship or something more, it is essential to wait at LEAST 90 days before claiming a title on that person.
Certain titles like boyfriend, girlfriend, or even just friend. When you first meet someone you have no idea how they react to certain situations, if they can compose themselves under pressure, how they deal with disagreements, or if they can keep their cool.
My freshman year at college I learned quickly that the “mask” for each person can vary. Some can keep it on for a couple of days, weeks, or even months. I’ve seen so many people make the mistake of getting in a relationship after knowing someone for a couple of weeks, then before the 90 days hits it ends horribly. Of course it did! Or a group of “friends” fall out because of miscommunication, which would not have happened if they knew how to approach certain situations with a sense of maturity, but you didn't know that they could disposed of you like a Kleenex. What a so called friend that was.
I first heard about this rule when Steve Harvey created his Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man. In the book, which later released into a hit movie, it told women that they should not sleep with a man for at least 90 days. This ruled out those just wanting one thing between those who might actually be interested in the real you. I didn’t look at that rule just applying for sex, but also every type of relationship.
If I had followed this earlier I would have saved myself a whole lot of tears, headaches, and heartache. Take it from someone who’s been there. Waiting to DTR is not a bad thing. Defining The Relationship is for those who deserve it.
