Back to school. It happened so fast I barely had time to process what was happening. After the most summery summer I've ever experienced - eleven weeks spent as a camp counselor, afternoon swims and midnight Taco Bell runs, long talks on the grass looking up at the stars - it almost seems impossible that real life could restart so promptly, could resume without missing a beat. And yet here I am. Sitting on the first floor of MLC, reading through fifty-six announcements that my professor sent out via email overnight. As I reflect on last year's journey (see previous articles for an idea of how that went…) and look ahead to this one, I can't help but feel slightly nervous. My freshman year, I never truly grounded myself. I came fresh out of private school, a small bubble of uniforms and strict rules, and was thrown into this so-called Classic City with no regulations but the ones I made for myself, which were few and far between. I was desperate for friendship and affection and found it wherever possible, which meant never settling into a solid, comfortable network of relationships. I was involved in everyone else's lives but never took time to think about my own, how I was feeling, how I was doing. And I struggled. Naturally, there are some experiences we look back on and never want to repeat, and last year is one of mine. I don't want to hate being at this university. I want to love my school, I just have to change the way I interact with it and its people. I've written a list of goals to get me through this year. Whether or not it will, I have no idea. But there's no sense in not trying:

1. This is the year of no bullshit. None. I've had an issue in the past of what some might call growing a spine, but I am done making excuses for myself and for other people. There's no sense in letting someone treat me poorly and excusing it for a multitude of reasons. Bad days are inevitable, but 365 days of assholery is a little excessive. If it can't be solved through conflict resolution, I'm out. As for myself, I have no more excuses to give for my decisions. I've used up all my social credit doing stupid stuff. But I've found that not screwing myself over can actually be as simple as pausing and asking "Hey, are you really this dumb?" As Dwight Schrute wisely stated, "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing." Pretty solid game plan, I would say. Would an idiot go downtown the night before a final exam? Would an idiot believe that he's truly "just a friend"? See? Tested and true.
2. This is the year I work hard, play hard (in that order!) It's really easy to get distracted by things that are more fun than studying...which is just about everything sometimes. It is also super easy to get into a pattern of working, but not really working because I'd rather be doing something else. For example, scrolling Instagram while writing a literature critique doesn't get you as far as you might think. Nipping the pseudo-studying in the bud goes a long way toward progress on assignments. Putting the phone down, pushing back plans when necessary (your friends will understand), and setting aside time to really work on those assignments pays off in the long run. Everything is a lot less stressful when you're not on the verge of failing three classes.
3. This is the year I become a fit queen. Okay but first, hold up. I don't necessarily mean looking the part. I mean, that'd be cool, but that's not the end goal. Fitness is so much more than achieving a certain body type or hitting a number on the scale. Eating right and exercising consistently is a form of self-care that shows that your body is important enough for you to treat it right. Even if you miss a workout for a day (...or a week…), taking time to simply walk outside, stretch, or plan a few meals in advance that make me feel good can really positively change the way I feel about myself that day.
4. This is the year I do all the things that scare me. There's a difference between "dangerous" scary and "challenging" scary. The first is stupid but the latter is where personal growth occurs. Being constantly comfortable doesn't inspire any change in your development as a person. Enrolling in that next level class, taking a chance on that one organization, or joining a team that intimidates you all work toward stretching you and your abilities. Nobody ever got where they were going by playing it safe.
5. This is the year that I mind my own damn business. I truly do not have time to waste or shits to give about things that do not and should not involve me. Throwing myself into situations in which I do not belong (or bringing other people into mine) has shown to be a really great way to stress me out and cause unnecessary discord in the universe. "Unproblematic" is the word of the year. Let's see how close to it I can come.

There's always room for growth in our lives. But sitting down and actually thinking about how we're going to achieve that growth is even more important than deciding we want it. Maybe if you're reading this, you have similar goals. You were there, you went through the motions, you played the part of a fool, a damn fool. I'm right there with ya, dude. Maybe you've already learned and worked past this phase in your life. Or maybe you were simply never a clown, in which case, congratulations - you didn't miss much. The most important thing to remember is that your past doesn't at all define your future. Even if last year or last month or yesterday was a shitshow for you, that shouldn't change the optimism you have for tomorrow. So pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go rule the world.