The summer is quickly coming to an end. Before we know it, the school year will be starting. I'm sure many people are facing the same looming future I dreaded a year ago: being miles apart from somebody they love.
Whether it's your kid going to college or your significant other going to a different college, being away from somebody you love is always tough. For me, about a year ago I was packing boxes to go away to Wayne State College while my boyfriend, Colton, was packing for UNL. We both knew the two colleges were hours apart, and though we assured each other we would make it work, neither of us realized how truly difficult long distance relationships can be.
After completing my first year and overcoming the challenges of long distance, I feel like it's important to share some of the things I've learned for the people facing the same fate in their near futures. Some of these will be applicable for couples; some for children and parent relationships; some for siblings; and some for friends that are still in high school that you have to leave behind. Going away to college is exciting, fun, and at the same time, completely nerve wracking. Maintaining long-time relationships despite them becoming long-distance relationships is important.
First and foremost, there will be naysayers. Time after time people will tell you to let go, move on, or even that your relationship won't last or be the same. It's important to realize that whether or not the relationship lasts is up to you and your partner. Parent, boyfriend, girlfriend, high school friend plus you — that's it. Going into the distance with a negative thought in your mind will make the distance more difficult to manage.
Keep an open mind and make the most of it. Remember the Chinese saying, “real gold is not afraid of the test of fire.” Instead of thinking that this long distance relationship is pulling you two apart, you should believe that through this experience, the both of you will be bound together even stronger. Don't be afraid of the distance. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after all.
The first few weeks are the hardest. Simply because you have to adjust to not seeing each other as often. To get through it, Colton and I scheduled FaceTime dates. Luckily we live in a generation full of technology. Via Snapchat, texting, and even just a goodnight phone call, it's easy to stay in touch and avoid worrying. On the note of technology, remember not to be obsessive. There's such a thing as too much. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true, and it might only make things worse. Soon you would get tired of “loving." Texting 24/7 works for some relationships; others need space. Talk to your partner and make sure you're on the same page — but, make sure to compromise.
It's easy for teenagers to go away and forget to call home. To the teens, call your mom every once in a while. To the parents, don't call every day! Keep each others' interests and schedules in mind. Making a relationship work, especially over long distance, takes communication. While communicating, if it's possible, try to plan some personal time. Colton and I arranged to spend many weekends together. I went home to spend time with my family and friends. Plan surprises, too! Care packages, cards and surprise visits are always fun.
Next, make sure you trust your partner. And be a trustworthy partner yourself! If you choose to go out to college parties or socials, make it known to the opposite sex that you're taken. Don't do anything you wouldn't tell your mom about. Share your stories with your home best friend, and don't let him or her feel forgotten.
But, at the same time, don't be afraid of being selfish. Being in college and making time for yourself is a great opportunity to discover yourself.
There will be tough times. Times that you want to cave in to the naysayers comments. Remember that it's your life. If the relationship becomes toxic, it's OK to leave. But, it's also okay to prove people wrong and make things work. Only you know what's best for you.
Overcoming the challenges of long distance relationships, for me and many others, is a rewarding thing. There's nothing more special or heartfelt than the first "I missed you" hug. So as you pack your bags and drive a distance away from somebody you love, remember that if there's a will, there's a way. Have no fear about facing an impending long distance relationship.
