12 Lessons I've Learned From My Experiences On Tinder

12 Lessons I've Learned From My Experiences On Tinder

The highs and the lows.

I have a strong love-hate relationship for Tinder. Here's what I've learned from my years on Tinder.

1. It’s great for traveling.

When I travel anywhere for at least a month, I use Tinder to meet locals, and they take me traveling to new places. It's super efficient to see a city all the way through - with companionship as a bonus. The only downside is that when you leave the city, you leave them. Don't get attached, or that can hurt.

2. Real friendships can be made.

Shoutout to my friends who I met on Tinder and are reading this.

3. Lots of people use it for rebound.

I've had so many people tell me they just got out of a relationship (within the first few messages they send me). It's kind of sad, but I do believe it makes a breakup easier so I sympathize. On the other hand, I wouldn't mess with these people since they're not really prepared for getting into something new.

4. It becomes mentally draining.

The cycle of swiping, meeting up with people, unmatching them, and repeating becomes so draining. I've been at the point where I felt so emotionally numb that I didn't want to meet or talk to another Tinder person and ended up deleting the app - only to redownload it not too long after.

5. No one is the same as their profile.

NO ONE I have met has either looked exactly like their profile pictures or acted exactly how they seemed in their bio. Beware. Make sure to meet a person early on to make sure they're like how they are online.

6. Catfishes are more common than you think.

So are fatfishes. It's not just girls, it's guys too.

7. Don’t give things away.

There's the horror story of the girl whose bio was "Send me $5 and see what happens ;)" and what happened was she probably took the money and unmatched them. Besides that, a bunch of people I met tried to cop as much free stuff as they could off of me. I've had someone take swigs of my expensive alcohol, take my suitemate's hot sauce, and had me cook for them without compensating me for the ingredients. People are not cool.

8. You will be recognized and recognize people.

I've been recognized at too many tailgates and parties by guys I ghosted. It's super awkward.

9. Don’t do anything weird unless you’re 100% sure you won’t bump into them in person.

I've said and done some weird things.

10. It’s addicting as hell and you will delete and redownload it many times.

You hate it and then you love it. You need it and sometimes you need to delete it. It fluctuates with your ups and downs in life, and your mind continuously wanders to using it.

11. It makes you more narcissistic.

Tinder is honestly one of the most shallow apps out there. You swipe on others just because of how they look, and you put your best pictures on there to get as many people interested in you as you can. You swallow up compliments and love to see super likes and new Instagram followers because of it. It made me more confident in myself, but also more superficial.

12. You become good with questions.

After a while, you narrow down exactly what small talk works and what doesn't. I'm at the point where I have a mental list of questions to ask that could carry a conversation for hours. I once went on a date for a few hours, and the guy told me I gutted him so deep that I knew more about him than his ex girlfriend did. F*ck yeah.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.


Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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Until You Put A Ring On Their Finger, They’re Not Family

"Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten." ~Stitch


If your mom is the traditionalist sort of mother mine is, the title probably sounds just like something your mom has told you about bae. It's something I resented for a long time, and then I just tolerated. It wasn't until I rewatched "Lilo and Stitch" that what my mom had always said finally clicked.

I hadn't seen "Lilo and Stitch" since I was a little kid. Back then, I think I mostly appreciated the sing-along songs and funny Bleakly moments, as most kids do. And believe me, I still love every one of those moments. But when you rewatch a childhood movie in your 20s, you find a lot more meaning behind everything.

Towards the beginning of the movie, Lilo makes the same mistake a lot of us have made or will make at some point: putting bae before everyone else, including family. And that's where the disagreement sets in. By a lot of people's way of thinking, your S.O. is family.

You probably know all about each other, from the best to the worst. You tell each other everything and go everywhere together. You might've been together for three months or even three years, but regardless you love each other a lot and can't imagine a life without the other. Until you break up.

Because you will break up. It sounds harsh, but if you've had a breakup before you understand this, and if you haven't you will at some point. And when you do, you're not going to be calling boo family anymore.

You can't cry on your S.O.'s shoulder when they're the reason you're broken. That dynamic duo thing you had going for so long is ripped out from under you, and suddenly you'll feel more like an island than ever before.

That doesn't sound like family to me. Someone who is family is someone you can count on, always. Not just when things are going well, but in spite of things going the way you want them to.

Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

There's a good chance you haven't always felt like your family treated you that way. Maybe like my mom, they don't feel the same way about bae that you do. Please don't resent them for it; when the two of you break up, family—your true family—are the only ones that will be there for you.

It's also likely a self-fulfilling prophecy has been created around the whole situation. We push family away in favor of the people we think are closer than family, and then resent the rest for not being closer. Sometimes it takes something as upsetting as a breakup to realize who was really there all along, waiting for you to come to your better judgment.

Although it may seem difficult, if not impossible now, always put family first. They've been there for you a lot longer than your S.O. has, and you can count on them always being by your side. When you find someone who respects you for that decision, they might just be the one to seal the deal with.


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