Three weeks before my eighteenth birthday, while my friends were all at prom, I sat numb with my legs crossed on a cold gym floor, exhausted from a lack of sleep, staring blankly at the piece of paper in my hand. I didn't make the team.
A humble tear rolled down my cheek and my heart dropped as I came to terms of what had just happened. In the midst of the disappointment, something peculiar happened. I felt the corners of my mouth turn upward as I swelled with pride. A feeling of gratification and satisfaction came over me as I realized that despite everything, I was proud of myself.
I grew up in the competitive world of dance and cheerleading where auditions and tryouts are the norm. After I graduated college, I auditioned for several professional cheer and dance teams, and I've failed many more times than I've succeeded.
After that first audition, I remember getting texts and calls from friends and family telling me how sorry they were that I did not make the team. Frankly, I was confused. Why were these people telling me sorry? Why were they pitying my failure? I had felt very proud of myself that day, and did not like the idea that other's felt that they had to try to console me.
Around this time, my friends and I were hearing back from universities to see whether we were accepted or not. A funny thing happened: just like when i didn't make the team, people were pitying my friends for not getting into a certain school.
But why? I realized that our culture has a pretty taboo and embarrassing view of failure, and this needs to be changed. The truth is, failure isn't the antitheses of success, it's a part of it. True failure is not trying. True failure is not aiming high enough.
Pitying others failures only exacerbates the problem of the negative cultural view of failure. Most of us make our decisions to try to fill the expectations of others, but leave it there. We avoid failure in attempt to save ourselves embarrassment.
If you are not struggling in school, take harder classes until you struggle.
If you get every job you apply for, apply for better jobs.
If you are not getting cut from teams, try out for better teams.
If you are getting accepted to every single college, apply for more difficult colleges.
If you are accomplishing every single goal you set, set your goals higher.
Dream even bigger in everything you do. Make failure a part of the process. Instead of pushing it away, embrace it.
Next time you or a friend has a major failure in life, don't pity them. Congratulate them for putting themselves out there. The more you fail, the higher you are aiming, and that's something to be damn proud of.
