I can already hear the screams of outrage, so before you ask, yes I have dealt with my share of f*ckboys. And yes, they can be infuriating. But, I think it's time we give them a break.
The world has been on a f*ckboy-hating rampage since we invented the word and I think it's about time we revisit our opinions on the situation. Yes, I know you've probably been hurt by a f*ckboy and I get it, it probably sucked. I'm not saying these boys are perfect angels sent from above, they have their flaws and they do shitty things. But if I'm gonna be honest, I have plenty of my own flaws and definitely do my fair share of shitty things. We all do.
I know some of you probably still hate me for being the one to say all this, but I just want you to hear me out. Here are 5 reasons we need to give f*ckboys a break. So just read them before you come for me, OK?
Usually, they’re honest about being a f*ckboy.
I have yet to encounter a genuine f*ckboy who first doesn't specify that he's not looking for something serious. Sure, sometimes he may not act like it, he may lead you on and do couple-y things with you. But I'm a firm believer that in situations like this, words actually speak louder than actions.
If he says he doesn't want anything serious, chances are he truly doesn't. And if he's out here doing all that couple-y shit, he probably just likes the attention and affection but still wants to get with other people. He's allowed to do that as long as he's upfront about it. And it goes both ways, you're allowed to do that, too! As long as we're all upfront and honest, I don't see an issue here.
We’re out here bragging about leading guys on during quarantine?
Now, as much as I hate to admit it, this quarantine does have me spending a lot of time on TikTok. You know what I'm seeing a lot of on TikTok? People making videos about their multiple boyfriends and all the guys they're chatting to during quarantine. Sis, same. This shit is boring. Pop off, talk to those boys, do whatever you want.
But isn't this the same kind of thing we talk shit on guys for doing? Now trust me, there's a lot of hypocrisy that goes the other way, too. Read practically anything else I've written and you'll see I'm a firm believer in the fact that we need to let females do whatever they want without judgement. But this time, we're here to defend the boys, I'm sorry.
If we want to stop getting called crazy maybe we should stop calling them f*ckboys.
What I mean by this is that the name-calling needs to stop all round. No more slut-shaming, no more calling guys f*ckboys. No more saying someone's crazy or a psycho or obsessed or a hoe. Cut. It. Out. You know when you were a kid and you did something mean and you're mum would be like, "how would you feel if someone did that to you?" Well, how would you feel? Whether it upsets you, annoys you, or infuriates you, it isn't a fun time. So, please, in the name of everyone getting along, lets quit it with the name-calling.
Sometimes it’s just easier to call them a f*ckboy than to admit we got our feelings hurt.New Line Cinema
Ouch. This one's kind of rough. But it is true. I feel like sometimes it's easier to say they were a f*ckboy than to admit they didn't want anything serious. Again, this goes both ways but I need to stop getting side-tracked and defensive and stick to what I came here to say. F*ckboys aren't all that bad. I get it, it sucks. I've been there and it's pretty freakin' lame. And I agree, it is easier to blame them, but it's not particularly nice or healthy. So instead, we just gotta own it. Drop the name-calling, grab a tub of ice cream, put on an episode of "Gilmore Girls," get the gang over, and drink some wine. We're taking ownership of our emotions, ladies.
It really does work for some.
Ah yes, this has to be my favourite point. Because it's just so true. The f*ckboy life works for some. Just think about it for a second, you get to go out and have fun, you get to hang out with your friends whenever you want, but then you also get the benefits of having a no-commitment-boy on speed dial. Like I see a lot of people complain about the guys that only hit them up at midnight, and fair enough I can see how it could be annoying for some.
But, personally, I don't hate the "You up?" texts. Chances are, at midnight I'm probably at home, I've been hanging out with my friends all day, and now I'm chilling and watching Netflix. I think the "You up?" texts happen to come at the perfect time, it's not like I'm doing anything else. And the beauty of it all, if you simply say "Nah, busy sorry," no one's feelings are getting hurt. Hopefully.
So, that's all I have to say in defense of the f*ckboy. You may not agree with me, the lifestyle may not be right for you, and that's OK. There are definitely flaws in the system. You might get called a psycho every now and then, someone might catch feelings and start getting jealous.
There are lots of ways that it could go wrong. But, I myself am a firm believer that if we talk shit out rather than waiting for someone to read our minds or jumping to conclusions and name-calling, we'd all be living much easier lives. Anyway, that's all from me for now. Go out and live your best f*ckboy lives, everyone. Or don't, I can't tell you what to do.
Follow Swoon on Instagram.