Time.
There’s a lot of power within such a simple, four-letter word. Time controls pretty much every aspect of our day-to-day lives. Time controls how long we’re at work, how long we have to sit in a classroom, and how many hours we get to sleep before our alarm wakes us up for another day. It also tells us how long we’ve been friends with someone, dating someone, and how long it has been since the last time we’ve seen someone. Time can tell us a lot of things, but there’s one special thing that time can do that not many other things have the ability to do.
I’d be willing to bet that one of the first things that popped into your head was the phrase, “Time heals all wounds.” I want to make it clear that I don’t completely agree with the message behind that because there are some wounds that can never truly be healed. Instead, I prefer the phrase, “Time makes you okay with your scars.”
Once you’re hurt, you will never fully recover. Whether you get your heart broken, lose a loved one, or suffer through a traumatic event, there is no possible way you can ever recoup and remain the same person you were beforehand.
You have the power to control how your hardships impact you: They can either make or break you.
I hope you choose to let them make you. Make you better, and stronger than you once were. I hope you choose to turn them into lessons to help you grow.
I have scars; We all do. I’ve had horrible things happen to me, but I’ve always taught myself how to restore my sanity. I have picked myself up after being left in the dirt multiple times.
Ten years ago, I was wounded when cancer won and took someone who meant the world to me.
Six years ago, I was wounded when the boy I was head over heels for broke my heart.
Five years ago, I was wounded when I was forced to move away from everything I had ever known.
Two years ago, I was wounded when my heart was shattered by a boy who didn’t care.
Six months ago, I was wounded when someone I adored took her own life and left my closest friends destroyed with nowhere to go for peace.
These are just some of the scars I carry around on my heart.
Most of these things happened years ago, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not still impacted by the mark they left on my soul, even though so much time has passed.
I will never completely heal, nobody ever does.
If I were to tell you I have healed, that implies that I’m as good as new and that I have been restored. I’m not the same person I was before these things took place; I never will be. To say you’re healed is to say that there’s nothing left to show what you’ve been through, and that is never the case. There’s always going to be a mark left behind: a scar.
But I’m okay with that.
I’m okay with the scars that were left behind for me to feel on a daily basis. I’m okay with the impact these events (and many others) had and continue to have on my life. I’m okay with constantly changing. I’m okay with going through hardships in order to become the woman God destined me to be.
Trust me, I’m okay.
Contrary to popular belief, time will not heal you. You can’t just let your struggles sit there and wait for time to pass before you’re okay again. Time doesn’t just fly by while forming you back into the person you were before. There is no “Time Fairy” that will sparkle magic dust on you and make all of the obstacles you’re facing go away.
Time does not heal.
Allow me to tell you what time does do.
Over time, you’ll learn how to smile again. Over time, you’ll find out what it means to be at peace with something horrible that happened to you. Over time, you'll learn how to deal with pain and get used to things being different. Over time, you’ll discover what it truly means to make it through the storm. Over time, you’ll learn how to go to bed without tears in your eyes and wake up with a happy heart. Over time, you’ll be able to look back at a situation that took place and think, “Because, if this, I am stronger. And because of this, I am who I am today.” Over time, you’ll be able to think about your past and be okay with the battle wounds you were left with.
Over time, you will learn how to be okay with your scars.
Trust me on this one.
You’re going to be okay.
