It all started at a street dance; that's when she caught my eye. She was dancing with some friends, and I couldn't let her leave without at least talking to her. I walked up to her and with a simple, "How are you doing?" our friendship grew like wild fire from there. She quickly became someone who I trusted fully and completely. I wanted to spend all of my time with her.
This is weird to admit, but I use to be afraid of the dark ... (maybe still am a little bit). However, this fear ended ended up being a huge bonus. She started to walk me to my car, after sport games. One night, she was walking me out as usual, but added a surprising twist. She bent over my window, staring into my eyes. The next thing she said was definitely out of left field. "I have this urge to kiss you right now." I quickly looked away, my cheeks on fire. I was flattered but at the same time, shocked. I told her I wasn't sure kissing would be a great idea. Neither of us had been with a girl before, so I was nervous. I wasn't looking for something serious, so I told her we would talk about it the next day.
When we met up, we ended up kissing anyway. I didn't think it was a huge deal, because we didn't seem very serious. Little did I know, feelings for each other would grow and would eventually blossom into a relationship. We only told one person we were dating. Neither of us had come out of the closet yet. We respected each other for that decision; high school is a hard place to come out. Many people don't understand, and their minds are still shaped by their parents' options.
However, come to find out, her parents found out by digging through her book bag and found a note I gave her. From then on, her parents refused to let our relationship continue and tried everything in their power to keep us apart. She was extremely stressed out, and depressed over the situation. She began to harm herself when her parents would have an "episode" with her. They eventually found out. That lead them to believe I wasn't just the cause of ruining their daughter's life, but also the reason she did self harm to herself. This, of course, was not the case at all. She felt ashamed of whom she was, and it was difficult to find a positive outlet.
Despite the problems with her parents, we continued to stay together. We could see each other at school, but we made the best of it. We went out for the same sports, so that we could spend an extra hour together after school. On the bus to our sporting games, we would sit next to each other. After the meet, we would throw a jacket in between us so we could hold hands. She would constantly draw me pieces of art to show her affection, and she would make me listen to songs on her iPod expressing her feelings for me. It was perfect... but this story is about how she got away. Eventually, her parent's got too emotionally abusive ... to both of us.
Graduation time for me was rolling in, and I knew things were going to get even harder with us not being able to have school time together. Her parents had her on a tight leash. They took her phone away from her at night and monitored everything she did. Our relationship had to be a secret and fighting against her parents wore me down. They would yell at me for turning their daughter into "this." All I wanted to do was be with the person I loved, and that became nearly impossible.
I feel like I was forced to end it. I told myself that if I didn't do it now, then it would have happened at a worse time. We both knew the break-up was inevitable. Without a phone, there would literally be no way for us to communicate. I broke my own heart when I came to this realization; the last thing I wanted to do was break her's. All anybody wants in life is happiness right?
Seven years have passed since we were together. Luckily, still to this very day we are in each other's lives. We were able to keep our friendship alive and going. There are people that come into your life and are meant to stay. I feel like she is one of them for me. We both have wondered "what if." Who knows where life would have taken us if we had been given a chance. Even though we look at each other strictly as friends now, I will always wonder what could have been with us. However, I am grateful for the genuine friendship we have made together.
I always like to refer to our story to the movie, "The Best of Me." If you haven't seen it, it's a must; just make sure to have a box of tissues near by. Who knows where the future will take us, but I pray that our friendship lives on. So let me end this with a quote, from that very movie. "She'd preferred the uncertainty, if only because it allowed her to remember him the way he used to be. Sometimes, though, she wondered what he felt when he thought of that year they spent together, or if he ever marveled at what they'd shared, or even whether he thought of her at all." - Nicholas Sparks, "The Best of Me"
