Everyone and their uncles has an opinion about long distance relationships. Sometimes they seem genuinely interested and are rooting for the two lovebirds. Other times, they sound less excited, or make unintentionally rude comments, as if they know what it's like.
All of this is coming from someone who does know what it's like and has experienced the sometimes harsh realities of being in a long distance relationship while in college. Despite all of this, our story is a positive one, as we are now happily engaged.
It all started after high school graduation, when we had to go our separate ways - Brett was off to basic training for the Army, and I was college-bound. We knew going in that he would be enlisted for five years and be stationed at a base once his training was completed. At this point we had been together for almost three years, and were determined to go the distance.
Looking back, I realize how naive we were - so full of hope, so sure of the future. Then again, I’m glad that we had such clear visions of what we wanted our lives to look like, and that picture included each other.
Don’t get me wrong, making this work has not always been filled with rainbows and gumdrops. Many days and nights have been filled with doubt and worry, missing him and wishing it would just all be over.
In times like these, it’s important to look back at all the good things in the relationship and remember why we chose to figure out how to make things work in our favor. The biggest thing that keeps me going is being able to look forward to seeing him again. It doesn't sound like it should, but counting down the days until he comes home is the main reason I am still sane.
It is also helpful to try and be thankful for what we do have. Yes, it sucks only getting to spend one weekend together every few months, but we have so much to be grateful for. He has remained safe, having not been deployed overseas. He has the freedom to come home for a four-day weekend and take leave for a couple of weeks in the summers and around Christmas.
I have also had the opportunity to make several trips out to see him. Brett is stationed in Colorado, so we always have adventures planned, like driving up to the summit of Pikes Peak or exploring the trails around Seven Falls.
Honestly, though, the last four years have been more often good than bad. We have learned to deal with the distance, and how to make the time we do have together truly count. Maybe absence really does make the heart grow fonder, because when we are together for only a few days at a time, I can't help but be ridiculously overjoyed for every minute of it.
