After driving for two and a half years, it is has been difficult to keep my road rage to a minimum. Here is a collection of the different things that run through my mind when I drive.

1. Why are we driving under the speed limit?

2. The left lane is for passing, the right lane is for cruising.

It's basic driving knowledge.

3. Get off my bumper.

I'm probably already speeding.

4. Get off your phone and drive.

5. Sure, let's speed up when there is a stop sign approaching.

Then slam on the brakes.

6. Round-a-bouts don't have stop signs.

Yield.

7. Stay in your lane. Stay in your lane. Stay in your lane.

What goes through my mind when I pass a semi.

8. Why are you using a blinker for a roundabout?

We can only go one direction.

9. Your political based bumper sticker will be irrelevant soon.

It also won't convince me to vote for them.

10. Please don't hit me.

11. Will the orange cones ever end?

Whoever owns the company that makes construction cones must be rich.

12. Do I have enough time to stop before the light turns red?

When there is a yellow light and you have a second to decide if you are going to stop or run it.

13. Turn. Turn. Turn.

All I want the slow car in front of me to do.

14. Shouldn't you people be in bed?

Sometimes there is just too many people on the roads during the night.

14. Why did a fender bender just stop the entire highway for an hour?

Quit staring at it and move along.

15. COP!

Yelling this every time there is a cop in the distance.

16. What a cute dog.

You just got to love the dogs who are hanging their head out the window, having the time of their life.

17. Move over, tractor.

I get stuck behind a tractor going barely 10 mph on roads way too often.

18. I want your car.

I tend to get jealous when I see someone driving my dream car.

19. What if I was driving James Corden to work?

I would do that without asking for gas money.