Oh Target, you are my bank accounts worst nightmare, but you are my best friend. You are there for my every need, every want, and you're even there for things I don't need but for some reason, you force them upon me anyway. You positively affect every life that walks through your door. In fact, just how cupid shoots an arrow, I'm the arrow to your Target, Target. I thank you and I appreciate you. With that said, here are some things everyone can probably relate to thinking when walking through Target.
1: Should I get a basket or a cart? A cart, a cart fits more. A cart it is.
2. OMG LOOK AT ALL THE CUTE DOLLAR TO THREE-DOLLAR SECTION STUFF I NEED IT ALL.
3. Whose birthday should I shop for today?
4. Jamies birthday's in a year don't even think about shopping for her now.
5. I'm shopping for her now.
6. Omg cute bathing suits. I need them all right now.
7. Buying all the bathing suits will be motivation to get beach bod ready right? Yeah totally.
8. Wait why did I come to Target in the first place?
9. Mascara you needed mascara.
10. I could really use a new candle or 12.
11. Shoes you need new shoes too.
12. Omg cute workout clothes, if I buy new workout clothes ill be even more encouraged to get beach bod ready.
13. YOU CAME TO TARGET FOR MASCARA STOP WHILE YOU'RE STILL AHEAD.
14. Baby clothes omg omg omg.
15. Stop you literally don't have a kid.
16. What am I doing here seriously?
17. WAIT I need to check cartwheel for coupons.
18. Oh my lanta 10 percent off toothpaste? I'll get 20.
19. Buy 4 pairs of shoes and get 1 half off? OK sold.
20. I should get vitamins while I'm here too.
21. You just got vitamins last week.
22. Vitamins don't expire.
23. OK maybe they do but whatever I'm getting more vitamins.
24. PATIO FURNITURE??
25. Stop you live in your parents house you don't need patio furniture.
26. I'm hungry.
27. I'm tired.
28. I came here for mascara. Get mascara.
30. I need new nail polish for that wedding I'm going to in 3 months.
31. I need a new outfit for the wedding too.
32. Maybe I'll get two outfits so then I have more variety to choose from.
33. Omg, Anna and her boyfriend are getting really serious so they are probably going to get engaged in like a year and then a year after that get married so I need an outfit for their wedding in 2 years too.
34. OK, so 3 outfits it is.
35. Why am I still here again?
36. I've literally been here for 2 hours now.
37. I should get a job here.
38. What else do I need?
39. MASCARA YOU CAME HERE FOR MASCARA.
40. School starts back up in like 4 months I could just get school supplies now and save myself the trouble in a few months?
41. Gosh you are literally so smart.
42. I'll just get next years school supplies too while I'm here.
43. OK it's time to check out.
44. Cashier: "Did you find everything ok?" Do I look like an amateur or something?
45. Don't forget to tell her about your coupons.
46. Only 300 dollars for all of that?
47. What a freaking deal.
48. Now swipe that target red card like it's an American express black card you beautiful mess you.
49. That was such a successful shopping trip, way to go you bad ass you.
50. I FORGOT MASCARA.
Thank you Target for all of the memories, all of the sales, and all of the times you took more money out of my bank account than I even had in my account resulting in an overdraft fee. But its all been so worth it. Never stop loving me because I promise to never stop loving you.
Till death do us part.
