1. What bold pedestrians!
Why are people crossing the road? The walk sign isn’t even on. They’re about to get hit by that car! Checking crosswalk signs seems to be a mere formality. Never mind that, we’re not about to be curb shamed by these metropolitan outlaws. We’d better walk too – we’d rather die by vehicular homicide than have them know that we’re tourists.
2. Hey, look! A pigeon! Hey, look! Another one!
Sure, we’ve seen pigeons before. But these are New York City Pigeons. They have an air of culture, grit and street smarts that their other feathered friends lack.
3. *Looks up at buildings* “Wow! They're so tall!”
We look above in wonderment at the towering buildings above us like Julie Andrews in a grassy field on the way to the von Trapp household.
4. Whoa, is that (random famous celebrity)?
Is that Kylie Jenner? We could swear it was. Or – no – that was definitely Oprah. Oh my goodness, we almost just bumped right into Leonardo DiCaprio. What a city! What a time to be alive!
5. Wait – Is that where they filmed (literally anything set in New York)?
This is where they filmed that scene from Gossip Girl! And right over there is where they filmed Home Alone 2! I’m sure of it.
6.How do we work the subway?
And are we going uptown or downtown? Is this the right one? We don’t know how to buy a MetroCard or even how to swipe it through the turnstile. But, when we accomplish this small feat, we feel as if the world of public transportation is our oyster. We then complain that our towns lack such brilliant infrastructure.
7. $17 for a cocktail? You must be out of your mind!
That would barely be three bucks at home... we could never splurge on such an item. Well, we’re only in NYC once (yeah, we call it NYC). Better buy a few, just for the experience.
8. Keep walking – don’t stop – you’ll be trampled.
We try to stay cool as we glance around nervously like a salmon fighting upstream. We’re worried if we stopped we’ll either be carried in away or sucked below so we just keep walking. We’re sure everyone is walking to Times Square anyway, right?
9. We’re tired.
Who knew living the glamorous cosmopolitan life was so exhausting? It’s time to take our newly acquired "I ♥ NYC" t-shirts, sore feet and empty wallets and return to our boring lives. Goodbye Big Apple, it was fun.
