Father's Day is the one day of the year that is dedicated to celebrating the invaluable role our fathers play in our lives. It's a special time to thank all of the fathers and remind them how much we appreciate and love them. The term "father" does not have to be used to refer to biological fathers; it can be used to refer any important person who filled the role of a father in your life. That person could be your biological father, stepfather, grandfather, uncle, foster dad, mother, an older sibling or other family member.
Although my dad says on the phone that everyday is Father's Day for him, I think it's nice to let him know how thankful and blessed I am to have him in my life. He and I have very different experiences of Father's Day. I consider myself very fortunate to have my Papí around who always puts a smile on my face but manages to keep it real. He pushes me everyday to become the best version of myself and seems to have an unlimited supply of unsolicited wisdom. Unfortunately, not everyone has a father they can call up on Father's Day and say, "Thank you for all that you do. I love you" or send a cheesy greeting card or a tie. To use a personal example, my father never really knew his own father.
The only memories he has of his father can be shared in just two minutes. He was an American who was an engineer and moved to Mexico. He worked in the asbestos mines. He was an intelligent man and he would take my father to the marketplace to buy fruit and go to baseball games. When my father was seven, he received a telegram that said his father, who had previously suffered from tuberculosis, had died from mesothelioma. Aside from those brief memories, a couple of photographs of my grandfather have been enlarged to portrait size hang on the walls at home.
(a photo of my grandfather, Charles H Bradley)
I asked my dad if he had any other memories of his father, but he replied that he only has those few memories and photographs. He misses him everyday despite how brief the memory of my grandfather is. There is a place in his heart that only a father could fill.
For others, Father's Day can be kind of an iffy day of celebration. While everyone honors how great the father figures in their lives are, some are all too aware that the man they call "father" does not measure up to the figure of the ideal dad. Maybe you technically have two father figures and have to walk a fine line to spend time with both without it becoming a competition. Sometimes one father can give what another cannot. Perhaps a father has not been around as much as he could have and you feel guilty for loving him. There is no manual written on how to be the perfect father, as most ideals are very removed from reality itself.
Every father figure is unique and shows their love in different ways. No matter what anyone says, never feel ashamed for loving them. So, this Father's Day, I encourage all of you to reach out to whoever your father figure is and thank them whether it be a phone call or speaking to their memory.
Acknowledgments: I would like to thank my father and my best friend for sharing their various experiences with Father's Day with me.
