If you write, observe, and document, how could you not take a few notes on a country like Pakistan during your visit?
I won't tell you everything you will sense. I will only tell you what may go through your mind as you digest (yes, digest) Karachi.
I have a dark feeling that someone used my loofah.
Someone probably did. It's all in the family.
Don't be pretentious. Your germs are probably more icky than theirs anyway.
What's that smell?
It could be anything, if not at least three different things at once. A good percentage of that smell is probably you, plus all the other urban survival you're surrounded by.
Why do my clothes smell?
This can mean one of two things.
Your clothes might smell either because they need to be washed, or because they have been washed.
Figure it out. Think hard.
Am I being watched?
You are.
Either a stranger or a family member (if you're lucky) is looking your way, and looking back at the beholder will only make things worse.
You may think you can shame people's gazes away by catching them, but not everyone here cares about being caught. Actually, you might just satisfy them by building eye-contact.
Could you try giving the person a dirty look? Probably not, that will only spice things up on his/her end.
Could you look terrified and weirded out? You could, but it would only make your admirer feel all the more powerful.
Could you ignore the person? Yes, let it remain a mystery in your head how long you're being watched. Ignorance is bliss.
Either way, there is no winning for you when you are being watched in Pakistan.
Can I eat this?
You'll only know if you try.
Is this rickshaw going to kill me?
The rickshaw is probably more terrified of you, than you are of it.
Sit or squat?
Wherever you are, you'll know about the plumbing system when you absolutely need to find out.
Don't be fooled by sit-down toilets. You might still need strong legs.
Why don't we have this where I live?
As a developing nation, Pakistan's households maintain features that could actually come in handy in developed nations.
To be honest, we do have more wasteful habits in developed nations, and adopting some ideas from developing nations does not have to hurt.
For one thing, energy saving switches could come in handy for people who like to leave their chargers plugged in when they aren't being used.
Is that a bug?
Don't call it that to its face.
That's not a bug, that's your roommate.
What's that sound?
Did you hear a gunshot, Beethoven, animals, or the neighborhood guard?
If you heard a scream, it's the neighborhood guard. If you heard animals, either cats ganged up on each other, or a dog ate a cat.
If you heard a gunshot, you can relax. If you heard Beethoven, why didn't you run out to the ice cream truck?
Why does this taste better here?
I can't put my finger on why Pepsi tastes better in KHI, but I've figured out that Mirinda is tastier than Crush because the orange flavor actually tastes somewhat like..Oranges.
Ice cream is creamier, and pizza toppings aren't standardized to cheese, pepperoni and ham (or ham and pineapple).
Which side of the road do these people drive on?
Whichever side they want. The sidewalk is up for grabs too.
Technically, they ought to drive on the left. You can confirm this when you see a red light, if the driver's side doesn't give it away. Red lights themselves are suggestions.
Was that a compliment?
Depends on how much sarcasm was and wasn't used.
How many languages am I communicating in?
If you're lucky, only three. If you reach four or more languages, there is a chance you don't understand at least one of them, but don't show any fear or confusion.
If you get too intimidated, start communicating with your friends in a language only you know, (I choose Spanish), or make up your own language, like some merchants do.
Visitors ought to have a very hard time uttering something bad about Pakistan, unless they're talking about the government. They may describe things that sound uncomfortable or negative to readers and listeners, but don't let your mind slip. Things may seem crazy, ridiculous, or strange, but that does not make them bad, it may just make them fun.
