When I was little I wanted to be so may different things. I remember in second grade, after a few lessons on dinosaurs, I was dead set on becoming a paleontologist. Shortly after, "Indiana Jones" had me utterly connived that it was my destiny to become an archaeologist. Adventure and excitement seemed to be my thing, though I quickly found out that neither professions are quite what they seem to be in a child's mind.
I'm sure, though I can't remember, that I had many other goals for who I wanted to be when I grew up. Now, I am by no means a grown up yet, but I'm getting there. Now, instead of finding ancient treasures (that was an actual, legitimate goal of mine once upon a time) I'm trying to keep the numbers in my bank account from shrinking and keep all of my grades at acceptable levels at pretty much any cost. It's not really what I would call fun.
But, I've come to realize that "growing up" is about becoming your own person. I never really gave that much thought until recently. It's about becoming who you want to be and doing what you want to do. I've reached the point where I need to figure that out. I'm supposed to know what I should be doing with my life already.
As things have been going on lately I've fully realized that from here on out I get to take my life wherever I want. I'm extremely lucky that I have that ability. I can go anywhere and become whoever I was meant to be. I'm being pressured to know what I want to do but in reality I have all the time I need. It's my life and I can do with it as I please,
It's a freedom that I never knew I had and in turn, never realized that other people have it as well. It's kind of amazing that we have this ability. Something else I've come to know is how many choices growing up requires you to make. Everything is a choice. Right now it hasn't been so bad but I know the choices I have to make will get harder in my future. But, such is life. This seems like a cliché but I can see the things I'm working through now are preparing me for the decisions to come later in life.
It seems to me that when most people get older they begin to give up their dreams, thinking they're too big or too unrealistic, which honestly make me sad. Granted there are limitations but I'm very big on following dreams. Getting older and starting college has changed my perspective regarding my goals and dreams. I want to be a film director. At first I wasn't so sure. It seems like a grand thing that requires a lot more than any average person can achieve. But then I realized it wasn't.
I no longer see those things as wishes. I only see them as goals. I honestly don't know what changed my view about it. As time went on and as things changed I grew and my opinions and thoughts changed with me. I truly believe that I can accomplish my goals and I'm willing to work for it.
That's another thing. It's shown me exactly how much I need to work to get where I want to be. I'm working towards being a better time manager, handling my money better and actually getting some sleep once in a while. These things are just a [art of being more responsible and I wish I had been form the start.
This is the time in most people's lives where they really start to figure out what works and what doesn't. Even though it doesn't involve explosions or daring rescues it's turning out to be quite the adventure, just like I believe it was meant to be.
