If you love the thrills and constant ups and downs of romance, and enjoy the drama of 25 girls fighting for the attention of one guy, then you're one of the many, many females (except my Dad, who would hate to admit it) who watch and gawk over ABC's "The Bachelor". I'm sure I'm not the only one who watches it in utter disbelief as girls, who make me ashamed to be female, humiliate themselves and bare their hearts to a guy they've known for a few weeks in front of everyone in the U.S. (and probably everywhere else too). If you're anything like me, these are the questions and thoughts prompted by this — let's be honest — addicting competition of finding love.

1. Why don't they ever eat the food that's on the date?

OK girls, let's get one thing straight. We like to eat. And you know it kills you when the girl on the date sits there with a full plate the whole night. Really though, when do they eat?

2. WHO QUITS THEIR JOB TO FALL IN LOVE?

I can't comprehend why someone would quit her perfectly good job to find love (unless you're this girl whose job is to apparently be pathetic). Do they get their jobs back if they go home without a rose? And do they get paid for being on the show? These are the questions that haunt us.

3. If these girls can't find anyone, I sure never will.

At some point, you've been made aware that almost every girl chosen to be on "The Bachelor" is very, very pretty, and the horrifying realization and question of, "Why haven't they found anyone yet?" is pretty concerning.

4. Why is there a hot tub on every date?

This is obviously a question for the current Bachelor, Ben. Why must a girl jump into a bikini on the first date? Huh?

5. I wonder if I could go on the show and convince Ben to keep me just so I could travel to amazing places?....

One appealing part of the show is that the girls, or guys, constantly get to travel around the world to romantic places for dream dates. You're lying if you say the thought of going on "The Bachelor" just to reap the benefits of adventure hasn't crossed your mind.

6. When the girls complain that they aren't getting his full attention...cue eye roll.

Who goes on a show with 24 other girls and gets mad when they aren't the only one being noticed? If you want to be someone's one and only (like you deserve) then don't take part in a competition.

7. So...is Chris Harrison ever going to get a rose?

This show host has been helping people find their "soulmate" for, like, forever. So when is it his turn? You know you're dying for a Chris Harrison season so he can stop handing out roses and finally be the guy to receive one.

8. If my boyfriend ever calls me crazy, I'm showing him the Chicken Enthusiast.

I think the only thing worse than being shown as "Unemployed" on "The Bachelor" is being something worse, like a Chicken Enthusiast. "Crazy" must be one of the requirements in the application for the show.

9. Do they buy their own fancy dresses for the rose ceremonies?

Have you noticed that every girl has the perfect hair, dress and make-up for the rose ceremony? I wonder if they all have to come prepared with a new evening gown for each night — that would be a bummer for the girls who go home on night one. At least they can attend as many proms as they want.

10. Who's the new girl?

No matter how long the season has been going on, there's always a new face every episode that makes you say, "Who is she?" It's the quiet ones who cause less drama that sneak through to the final week. You know it's true.

11. Twins. Really?

Like we've already realized after last Monday's episode, having identical sisters on the show is a recipe for disaster. The last thing you want is your ex to show up at your house because he's now dating your twin. Awk.

12. What would my mother think?

Although it's hilarious entertainment for everyone at home, these girls do some pretty humiliating things to get the Bachelor's attention. I'm pretty sure my mom would drive to the mansion and drag me home to keep our family's honor.

13. Why do guys hate this, it's amazing...

One of my college friends, Parker, asked if he could contribute this question: I wonder which of my guy friends watches this like I do? There you have it, ladies: they can no longer mock our affection for this unrealistic search for love.

14. Olivia: The Big Mouth

We all know Olivia from this season. She has a really big mouth, and we aren't just referring to the fact that she's always talking and stealing Ben away (to tell him about her insecurities regarding her toes). Her mouth is actually huge. I already know I'm not the only one who thinks this because Olivia's mouth has its own Twitter @BachelorOlivia.

15. I ain't gonna share my man.

If there's one universal thought among "Bachelor" watchers, it's this: No one wants to share their boyfriend. I don't think I'd sign up for watching my boyfriend go on dates and kiss other girls. No thanks.

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Obviously, there wouldn't be enough time or enough space to verbalize every thought I have on Monday nights, but I think this covers what generally invades the minds of girls everywhere. Enjoy the rest of the season, Bachelor Believers.