What compels us to feel self-doubt or self-hatred? Why are there some people who have it all figured out but yet some of us continue to be buried alive in soil rife with loneliness and hurt.

I’m generally a happy person, if you do not know me that well, best believe that now because as this article unfolds you might find sides of me that you didn’t know existed. I’ve felt it all, the pain of a thousand burning suns, the self-doubt and pity of a caged lion but through all of this, I have yet to find the answers to my initial questions. Tears have run down my face the same number of times I’ve felt elation, and that’s a lot of fucking times believe you, me. I have no problem in admitting this to all of you because I know there may be a handful of people who at least empathize with this to small extents, if not completely relate.

There’s this lyric I once heard, “When it rains, it pours and the pain is coming in waves”, I really wish I could take credit for those words because none have ever found an adequate way of describing the issues (ironically the name of the band who sang these words) that plague my mental states. The fact that I have to say that disgusts me, I get angry not because of what I’m feeling but because I can remain happy for months at a time but God forbid one minor thing goes wrong, an avalanche of issues pour themselves over me out of nowhere. How fucking unfair is that? It bothers me that we can get it all right, we can find that spark that ignites our happiness and keep that candle burning through every hardship we face but there’s always that one event that unfolds which makes everything spiral out of control. It could be love, people in your life, or even work related but I really believe I’m not alone in this. For those of you who just nodded your head, do not worry, read on and I’ll try my darnedest to help guide us through this.

First and foremost, I would say that having your friends around really helps. Sure it sounds like an incredibly basic point to make but there will be times where you may want to cut them out for periods at a time because you’d like to be alone. Don’t do this. It’s the worst thing you could do to yourself, especially in a time where you need to either talk it out with someone close or just have your idiot friends around you who do stupid shit just to make you forget about your troubles for a few hours. Speaking from personal experience, I can say that my friends, both in Dubai and New York, have genuinely made the burdens in my life a whole lot easier to bear and I’ve either managed to deal with the issues or completely forget about them. There used to be a time where I wouldn’t talk to my friends about some of my issues just so I didn’t bother them with it as well, but I found out that the real ones will sit you down and talk sense into you, regardless of how tormenting the issue may be and the one’s that turn their backs on you aren’t the real deal.

Secondly, your family- I mean, mom, dad, siblings, even your dog (or cat), are always going to be there for you. Yeah, they’ll drive you crazy and you’ll want to stick cacti in your ears sometimes because it feels right in the moment. But remember this, they have put you on a platform in order to succeed and be happy, the unconditional love you receive (no matter how much of a dick you are at times) is unparalleled and that in itself should be enough reason to not antagonize them no matter how much they annoy you at times. There’s also comfort in the fact that you’ll always have a home to go back to no matter how far you are, or how deeply saddened. No parent wants to see their child in pain, and they would literally bend over backwards in order for your happiness; because of this it should be your utmost priority to at least try and achieve happiness if not strive for it immediately.

Finally, and I urge you not to roll your eyes at this, is yourself. We’ve all been subject to incessant overthinking about situations and this may be enough for you to want to shut down entirely. All I can tell you to do is try and reason things out with yourself. Just being aware of what you’re feeling and figuring out how to go about resolving your issues is enough to promote a healthier mind set. Think of it like this, if the whole world is out to get you then the last thing you need is an enemy within you. The start to a happier life comes from within yourself, and at times the issues you face may be a massive war on a personal scale. In this case, mentally armor up and get ready to fight because there can only ever be one victor, make sure its you.

In summation, all three points I’ve stated work in tandem with each other. There may be times that either one point will be the reason for your hurt but whichever one is bothering you, the other two will be there to help you through it. For example, if it’s issues within yourself, family and friends will guide you through and vice versa. Remember that. I’ll leave you all with a quote from the Ancient One (yes this is a Doctor Strange reference), “We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them.”